ne
dared to tell her. Something told me to be silent. I kept thinking all
the time she was talking to me, and finally made up my mind that the
time was not yet ripe for me to make any suggestion. I had grown to love
her very much, so I wanted to take care not to offend her; that would
probably finish my ambition. I wanted to study her first thoroughly and
then try to influence her to reform China.

I stood all the time while she was eating. She got up from the table
and handed me her napkin (this napkin was made of a piece of silk a yard
square, woven in many colors). One corner was turned in, and a golden
butterfly was fastened to it. It had a hook at the back of this
butterfly so as to hook on her collar. She said: "I am sure you must be
hungry. Go and tell the Young Empress and the rest of the people to come
and eat. You can eat anything you want from these tables, so eat all you
can." I was very, very hungry. Just imagine, I had been up since 5:00
o'clock and had only a light breakfast, and had walked a great deal.
It was almost noon when Her Majesty sat down at her table. She ate so
slowly, too. While I stood there talking to her I thought she would
never finish. She ate a good meal. The Young Empress stood at the head
of the table, and we all stood on either side. We did not like to be
forward, so we stood at the other end of the table. The food was very
much the same as the first day we were there. Her Majesty came out from
the inner room, had just finished washing her face and hands, and had
changed into another gown. This one was simple, but very pretty. It was
woven with pink and gray raw silks, which gave it a changeable light
whenever she moved. She came out and said: "I want to see you people
eat; why is it that you are standing at the end of the table, the best
dishes are not there? All of you come over here and eat near the Young
Empress." So we moved from our end of the table to the other. Her
Majesty stood near me, and pointed to a smoked fish and wanted me to try
it, as it was her favorite, and said: "Make yourselves at home. You know
you have to fight your own battles here with this crowd. Of course you
can come and tell me if anyone does not treat you fair." Her Majesty
then went out, saying that she would walk a bit. I noticed that some of
the court ladies did not look pleased, seeing that Her Majesty paid so
much attention to us. I could see they were a little jealous of me, but
that did not worry