ngs as a whole while route-marching at ease past the C.O.:--

"Nobody knows how dry we are,
Nobody knows how dry we are,
Nobody knows how dry we are,
AND NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE."

While the conduct of all of us becomes every day more disciplined, our
speech, I have to report with regret, becomes more loose. Emphasis is an
essential of military life, and it must be such emphasis as the least
intelligent may readily appreciate. Sometimes I tremble to think in what
terms I may inadvertently ask some gentle soul later on in life to pass
the marmalade, or with what expletives I may comment upon some little
defect in domestic life. My literary friend, John, has shamelessly
compiled a short phrase-book for our use abroad, reproducing our present
regrettable idioms. One inquiry, to be addressed to the local peasant by
the leading officer, runs thus:--"Can you tell me, Sir, where the enemy
is at present to be found?"--"_Ou sont les Boches sanguinaires?_"

The other point of view as to going to the Front was put last Sunday
with unconscious aptness. At breakfast we had read aloud to us a letter
written with inspiring realism by a Watch Dog who is actually there and
seeing life in all its detail in the trenches. Having listened to it
with rapt attention, we then marched to church and (actually) sang with
unanimous fervour:-

"The trivial round, the common task
Will furnish all we need to ask...."

Nevertheless more to be feared than the enraged German is the sceptical
scornful Aunt of

Yours ever,

HENRY.

* * * * *

Illustration: AT A MILITARY WEDDING.

_Usher_ (_to Uninvited Guest_). "BRIDE'S FRIENDS TO THE RIGHT;
BRIDEGROOM'S TO THE LEFT."

_Uninvited Guest._ "I'M AFRAID I'M A NEUTRAL."

* * * * *

"Washington, Saturday.--The American Ambassador at Constantinople
reports that Turkey has acquiesced in the departure of several
Canadian missionaries, whose safe conduct was requested by Sir Cecil
Spring-Rice, the British Ambassador here."--_People._

This is headed "Millionaires Released," and shows how well the clergy
are paid in Canada.

* * * * *

LITTLE BROTHER.

(_The Indian Jackal._)

Panther, tiger, wolf and bear,
They live where the hills are high,
Where the eagle swings in the upper air
And the gay dacoit is nigh;
But we live down in the delta lands,
A dec