eds of professors and jurists
Have quite disappeared from the Press;
'Tis little we hear of Futurists,
And frankly we care even less;
Why, TREVELYAN, the martyr to candour,
Who lately his office resigned,
Though waters were heaving has sunk without leaving
The tiniest ripple behind.

In fine, though there fall to our fighters
Too many hard buffets and humps,
'Tis a comfort to think that our blighters
Are down in the deadliest dumps;
And whatever the future may bring us
In profits or pleasures or pains
The ill wind that's blowing to-day is bestowing
A number of negative gains.

* * * * *

THE IDEAL CHRISTMAS CARD.

"Are we sending Christmas cards this year? Yes," said Blathers, "but not
next year, or the year after that, as we shall be retrenching. They are
quite modest trifles, yet at the mere sight of the envelope each
recipient will, cheerfully, I hope, pay twopence towards the sinews of
war. One hundred of these contributions will amount, I am told, to
sixteen shillings and eightpence; not much, but it is my little offering
to the country in her hour of need. This is the card I propose to send
out in a sealed and unstamped cover":--

MR. AND MRS. BLATHERS WISH YOU A HAPPY CHRISTMAS 1914, 1915 AND
1916, AND A BRIGHT NEW YEAR 1915, 1916 AND 1917.

_The Ferns, Tooting._

* * * * *

"The Russian mining engineers who have been sent to Galicia since
the occupation report that the oil districts will suffice to supply
the whole of South-Western Russia. The working of the fields will
start in the spring; moreover salt and iron abound, also
sporadicalli, silver, copper, lead and the rarer metals."

_Cork Examiner._

For vermicelli, however, it will still be necessary to go to Italy.

* * * * *

OUR NATIONAL GUESTS.

III.

To the list of things that the Belgians in Crashie Howe do not
understand, along with oatmeal, honey in the comb, and tapioca, must now
be added the Scottish climate. They do not complain, but they are
puzzled, and after sixty-five consecutive hours of rain they wonder
wistfully if it is always like this. We simply dare not tell them the
truth.

By every post we are busy hunting for lost relatives who are scattered
before the shattering fist of the KAISER over Great Britain, Belgium,
Holland and France. We have not be