expert accountant. Knowledge of Russian and the
broadsword essential. Acquaintance with the subject of mining
engineering expected. Experience in the diplomatic service desired.
Gentleman of impressive presence required. Highest credentials demanded.
Salary, to begin, seven dollars." Knowledge, undoubtedly, is power!

Still, one seeking a position through want "ads" need not altogether
despair. A little further down these very catholic columns you will find
that: "Any person of ordinary intelligence, common-school education not
necessary, can make $1000 a week writing for newspapers, by our system,
taught by mail. Only ten minutes a day before going to bed required to
learn."

One thing stands out above all others in advertisements for help wanted.
This is the land of hustle. Tinker, tailor, candlestick-maker; lawyer,
merchant, priest; if you are not a "live-wire" you are not "help
wanted"--"Cook wanted. On dairy farm, twelve miles from town. White,
industrious. Must be a live-wire! One that can get results. No
stick-in-the-muds need apply!"

Uplifters and governments do not deal a more telling blow at the demon
rum than do want "ads." There is no longer any job for the drinker.
"Bartender wanted. In a very low place. Must be strict teetotaler!"
The student of the help-wanted columns will come to regard it as a very
great mystery who floats all our "public-houses."

Persons whose outlook on life is restricted to the dull round of one
occupation and to one class of society will find a decidedly broadening
influence in the perusal of help-wanted "ads," a liberal and a humane
education in the subject of the variety and picaresque quality of
humanity's manifold activities. And such persons will be made aware of
their dark ignorance of many matters. What, for instance (they will say)
is a "bushelman"? A great many bushelmen are continually "wanted." It
might be well to be one so much in constant demand as a bushelman. Has
this welcome character something to do with the delectable grocery trade?
No, my dears (for though I never saw a bushelman, I'd rather see than be
one), he engages in the tailoring business, in the sweatshop way (as well
as I can make out).

There are people wanted in help-wanted "ads" (but not in real life) to do
nothing but travel in pleasant and historic places as companions to
wealthy, "refined" persons in delicate health. There are people wanted
(in want "ads") to share attra