ctive homes in fashionable country places
whose duties will be to smoke excellent cigars and take naps in the
afternoon.

And there are as romantic things to be found among help-wanted "ads" as
there are in the most romantic romances. Now, lest it may be thought
that some of the help-wanted "ads" which I have written right out of my
head to illustrate the type of each are somewhat fanciful, I will copy
out of yesterday's paper an advertisement which "Robinson Crusoe" hasn't
anything on, to put it thusly. Here you are.

"WANTED--A man (or woman) to live alone on an island, eight miles from
shore; food, shelter, clothing furnished; no work, no compensation.
Summer time, Box G, 532 Times, Downtown."

I knew a man once who got several replies to advertisements for help
wanted. He bought ten New York papers one Sunday and a dollar's worth of
two cent stamps. At ten o'clock in the evening he went out and stuffed
the ballot-box, I mean the letter box. He said in his own handwriting
that he was an excellent man to be manager of "the upper floors of an
apartment house"; that he was uncommonly experienced in the
moving-picture business and knew "the screen" from A to izzard; that he
had edited trade journals from the time he could talk; that he had an
admirable figure for a clothing model; that he was very successful in
interviewing bankers and brokers; that he was fond of children; that he
would like to add a side line of metal polisher to his list; and that he
certainly knew more about Bolivera than anybody else in the world, and
would be prepared to head an expedition there by half-past two the
following day.

That man already had a job that he had got from a want "ad." He had been
"copying letters" at home, "light, genteel work for one of artistic
tastes." But he found that one could not make any money out of it.
Because, after one had bought the "outfit" necessary one discovered that
it was humanly impossible to copy the bloomin' letters in the somewhat
eccentric fashion required.

He got several replies, as I said, to his replies to want "ads," this
man. One was a postcard which read: "Call to-morrow morning about work,
Room 954, Horseshoe Building, X. Y. Z. Co." Considering himself a
gentleman, and being touchy about such things, he was annoyed at this
manner of addressing him on a postcard. However he went to the Horseshoe
Building. Room 954 had a great many names on the door, names there
stated to be tho