we went our way in happiness and silence. It is
not in the nature of things, however, that children should not wish to
talk, and it was through the irrepressible efforts of Cain and Abel
to be heard as well as seen that first called the attention of Eve and
myself to the desirability of expressing our thoughts in words rather
than by masonic signs.

I shall not burden my readers with further recollections of this period.
It was excessively primitive, of necessity, but before leaving it I must
ask the reader to put one or two questions to himself in this matter.

1st. How is it that this bearded patriarch, who now poses as the only
original Adam, has never been able, with any degree of positiveness, to
answer the question as to whether or not he was provided with a caudal
appendage--a question which I am prepared to answer definitely, at any
moment, if called upon by the proper authorities, and, if need be, to
produce not only the tail itself, but the fierce and untamed pterodactyl
that bit it off upon that unfortunate autumn afternoon when he and I had
our first and last conflict.

2d. Why is it that when describing a period concerning which he is
supposed to know all, he seems to have given voice to sentiments in
phrases which would have delighted Sheridan and shed added glory upon
the eloquence of Webster, AT A TIME WHEN, AS I HAVE ALREADY SHOWN, THERE
WAS NO SUCH THING AS SPEECH?

Upon these two points alone I rest my case against Adam: the first is
the reticence of guilt--he doesn't know, and he knows he doesn't know;
the second is a deliberate and offensive prevarication, which shows
again that he doesn't know, and assumes that we are all equally
ignorant.

So much for Adam. Now for the cheap and year-ridden person who has
taken unto himself my second personality, Noah; and that other strange
combination of woe and wickedness, Jonah, who has chosen to pre-empt
my third. I shall deal with both at one and the same time, for, taken
separately, they are not worthy of notice.

Noah asserts that I know nothing of yachting. I will accept the charge
with the qualification that I know a great sight more about Arking than
he does; and as for Jonah, I can give Jonah points on whaling, and I
hereby challenge them both to a Memoir Match for $2000 a side, in gold,
to see which can give to the world the most interesting reminiscences
concerning the cruises of the two craft in question, the Ark and the
Whale, upon neither o