ofness! Yet she must have
known that I could not live without her. Three days had elapsed since
the affair with the Baron, and I could bear the severance no longer.
When, that afternoon, I met her near the Casino, my heart almost made
me faint, it beat so violently. She too could not live without me, for
had she not said that she had NEED of me? Or had that too been spoken
in jest?

That she had a secret of some kind there could be no doubt. What she
had said to the Grandmother had stabbed me to the heart. On a thousand
occasions I had challenged her to be open with me, nor could she have
been ignorant that I was ready to give my very life for her. Yet always
she had kept me at a distance with that contemptuous air of hers; or
else she had demanded of me, in lieu of the life which I offered to lay
at her feet, such escapades as I had perpetrated with the Baron. Ah,
was it not torture to me, all this? For could it be that her whole
world was bound up with the Frenchman? What, too, about Mr. Astley? The
affair was inexplicable throughout. My God, what distress it caused me!

Arrived home, I, in a fit of frenzy, indited the following:

"Polina Alexandrovna, I can see that there is approaching us an
exposure which will involve you too. For the last time I ask of
you--have you, or have you not, any need of my life? If you have, then
make such dispositions as you wish, and I shall always be discoverable
in my room if required. If you have need of my life, write or send for
me."

I sealed the letter, and dispatched it by the hand of a corridor
lacquey, with orders to hand it to the addressee in person. Though I
expected no answer, scarcely three minutes had elapsed before the
lacquey returned with "the compliments of a certain person."

Next, about seven o'clock, I was sent for by the General. I found him
in his study, apparently preparing to go out again, for his hat and
stick were lying on the sofa. When I entered he was standing in the
middle of the room--his feet wide apart, and his head bent down. Also,
he appeared to be talking to himself. But as soon as ever he saw me at
the door he came towards me in such a curious manner that involuntarily
I retreated a step, and was for leaving the room; whereupon he seized
me by both hands, and, drawing me towards the sofa, and seating himself
thereon, he forced me to sit down on a chair opposite him. Then,
without letting go of my hands, he exclaimed with quivering lips and a