marigolds and groundsel, presented by the wives of the policemen; the
Duchess's cousin, the chatty old Viscount, and his sweet young wife; the
stout old Marquis who (as every lady knows) is also admiral of the
Regent's Canal, and his six old-maid daughters, who all arrived in bath
chairs. The general was there, as a matter of course, with all his
medals beautifully polished, and his pockets full of Pontefract cakes
and peardrops to throw to the children. At least twelve bishops were
present, besides the vicar and his eight kind curates, who made
themselves extremely pleasant to every one.

All the mothers and fathers of the neighbourhood were present, and
minders were continually arriving to compete for the prizes. There were
at least one hundred policemen to keep order, and the music was provided
by the band of the militia, lent for this occasion by the kind-hearted
general. Each member of the band performed on a separate harmonium
borrowed from the vicar. Refreshments also could be had by every one who
could prove that he or she was hungry.

[Illustration: ALWAYS INVENTING NEW WAYS OF MINDING]

The first event was the egg-and-spoon race, which was decided in the
following way. A well-pinched baby and a glass of milk were placed at
the end of the course, and each competitor had to run to them balancing
a new-laid egg on a spoon; when he had reached them, he had to beat up
the egg in the glass of milk and pacify the child with the beverage. The
competitor who did it in the shortest time won the prize.

Some murmurings were heard when it was announced that Bill had won by
two-and-a-half minutes, but these were soon drowned by the cheers of
the crowd and the music of the harmoniums.

[Illustration: YOUNG TOOTH-CUTTERS FORGOT THEIR TROUBLES]

The second event was the obstacle race, in which each competitor had to
run with three babies in his arms along a course strewn with
perambulators full of children. Over the latter he had to climb, and
having placed his three babies in an empty perambulator stationed at the
end of the course, wheel them back the same way and empty them into the
arms of the Duke without a cry from the children.

The loud cheers of the crowd and the roar of the harmoniums this time
hardly drowned the jeering of his rivals when it was proclaimed that
Bill had also won this race; and when he secured the gold-mounted
feeding-bottle, presented by the Duke, for minding seventeen
tooth-cutters and th