which the remains are taken.

WUZ--Synonymous with "was," but indicates dialect.

HURLED--Motion of passengers, cars, and cabs at the time of the accident.

FAINT--Course taken by all the women within six blocks of the accident.

SCREAM--See "faint," above.

DASH--Gait of the crowd at the time of the accident. "Rush" is synonymous.
"Run" is not good usage.

HEIR--Child having three hundred dollars coming to him from a life
insurance policy.

RING OUT--What shots always do.

HURTLE--Verb used of motion of any falling object, especially a brick or a
suicide.

HAVOC--Good word to use almost anywhere.

HIGH--Adjective which must be prefixed to noun "noon" in the account of a
fashionable wedding.

SLAY--Synonymous with obsolete verb "kill."

JUGGLE--What is always done with the funds of a bank or trust company.

COLLEGE GIRL--Any woman who has ever gone to school.

BANDIT--Person guilty of crime against property for which the penalty is
more than ten days in jail.

BURLY--Adjective always applied to a male negro.

PROMINENT--Descriptive adjective applied to farmers, plumbers, and
dentists.

BOUDOIR--Any bedroom the rent of which is more than one dollar and a half
a week.

GLOBE TROTTER--Any one who has been to Hohokus, N.J., Kittery, Me., or
Peru, Ind.

GEMS--Personal ornaments worth more than one dollar and seventy-five
cents.

GRAVE, GAY, AND EPIGRAMMATIC.

THE PIPE THAT FAILED.

This story is told about ex-Senator J. S. Clark, of Calais, Maine: One
day, while awaiting his turn in a barber-shop in Calais, he was talking
with a friend, and was so deeply interested in the conversation that he
allowed his pipe to go out several times. Each time he would ask Melvin
Noble, a local practical joker, for a match.

About the time he wanted the fifth match, Noble said: "I don't begrudge
you the matches, Jed, but I think it would be cheaper for you to put a
grate in your pipe and burn coal."--_Boston Herald._

ANCIENT, BUT IT GOES.

Feebles (about to be operated upon for appendicitis)--Doctor, before you
begin, I wish you would send and have our pastor, the Rev. Mr. Blank, come
over.

Dr. Sawem--Certainly, if you wish it, but--ah----

Feebles--I'd like to be opened with prayer.--_Exchange._

RILEY'S RYE PATCH.

Whitcomb Riley was looking over a fence on his farm at a field of rye,
when a neighbor who was driving by stopped his horse and asked:

"Hullo, Mr. Riley, how's your rye do