iscount's great surprise!
He scarcely could believe his eyes!
He sought the Individual who
Had laid him odds at 9 to 2,
Suggesting as a useful tip
That they should enter Partnership
And put to joint account the debt
Arising from his foolish bet.

[Illustration]

But when the Bookie--oh! my word,
I only wish you could have heard
The way he roared he did not think,
And hoped that they might strike him pink!
Lord Hippo simply turned and ran
From this infuriated man.
Despairing, maddened and distraught
He utterly collapsed and sought
His sire,

[Illustration]

the Earl of Potamus,
And brokenly addressed him thus:
"Dread Sire--to-day--at Ascot--I ..."
His genial parent made reply:
Come! Come! Come! Come! Don't look so glum!
Trust your Papa and name the sum....

WHAT?

[Illustration]

... _Fifteen hundred thousand?_... Hum!
However ... stiffen up, you wreck;
Boys will be boys--so here's the cheque!
Lord Hippo, feeling deeply--well,
More grateful than he cared to tell--
Punted the lot on Little Nell:--
And got a telegram at dinner
To say

[Illustration]

that he had backed the Winner!

Lord Uncle Tom

Lord Uncle Tom was different from
What other nobles are.
For they are yellow or pink, I think,
But he was black as tar.

[Illustration]

He had his Father's debonair
And rather easy pride:
But his complexion and his hair

[Illustration]

Were from the mother's side.

He often mingled in debate
And latterly displayed

[Illustration]

Experience of peculiar weight
Upon the Cocoa-trade.

But now He speaks no more. The BILL
Which he could not abide,
It preyed upon his mind until
He sickened, paled, and died.

Lord Lucky

Lord Lucky, by a curious fluke,
Became a most important duke.
From living in a vile Hotel

[Illustration]

A long way east of Camberwell

He rose, in less than half an hour,
To riches, dignity and power.
It happened in the following way:--
The Real Duke went out one day
To shoot with several people, one

[Illustration]

Of whom had never used a gun.
This gentleman (a Mr. Meyer
Of Rabley Abbey, Rutlandshire),
As he was scrambling through the brake,

[Illustration]

Discharged his weapon by mistake,
And plugged about an ounce of lead
Piff-bang into his Grace's Head----
Who naturally fell down dead.

His heir, Lord Ugly, roared, "You Brute!

[Illustration]

Take that to teach you how to shoot!"
Whereat