oty amongst us,
After the General Election, the Tories may find--but no matter-r-r!
Surely a time will come,--not a "close time" that for the Tories,--
I being outraged, _then_ will give them particular pepper!

* * * * *

HEARTHILY WELCOME.

1900 (_Somewhere about_).--Introduction into London of new Patent
Smokeless Fuel, as experimentally exhibited in 1891 before the Prince
of WALES and Empress FREDERICK in York Road, King's Cross. A few
public-spirited householders insist on their cooks using it in the
kitchen. Cooks of public-spirited householders unanimously give
warning. No quotation of Fuel Company's shares on Stock Exchange.

1900 (_Later_).--Very reforming Parliament just returned. Use of new
Fuel made compulsory. Fuel shares go up from a nominal 2s. 6d. a share
to L437 6s. 8d. at a bound.

1901.--London already much cleaner. Only two fogs (white) in whole
of last winter. Consequent intense surprise of old residents, cabmen,
link-boys, porters, and pickpockets.

1902.--Retirement of several individuals, who declare they "liked the
good old London fogs," to Black Country. Statue in Parian marble of
inventor of new Fuel blocks erected on Thames Embankment.

1904.--Government buys up patent rights of Company, at ruinous
sacrifice. A Minister of Chimneyculture appointed, with Cabinet rank.
Blocks reduced in price, and sold at all Post Offices across the
counter. Postal messengers, on receipt of telephonic orders, bring
truckfuls to any address within ten minutes.

1905.--Green veils come into general use this summer, to keep off
glare from white stone houses and other buildings in West-End of
London. Several cases of partial loss of sight from extreme whiteness
of dome of St. Paul's. Dean ordered (by County Council) to have dome
lamp-blacked. Dean declines. Vote of thanks to him from resident staff
of Ophthalmic Hospital.

1906.--Owing to surprising and overpowering health of inhabitants
(caused by total absence of smoke and fogs), County Council
establishes Gymnasia, Rowing Matches, and free public Pugilistic
Contests, in order to work off surplus muscular energies of
population.

1907.--Emigration of 2000 Doctors (who have no work to do) to one of
General BOOTH's Colonies at South Pole. Show (in Temple Gardens) of
delicate ferns and roses grown in atmosphere of Strand.

1908.--Strike of Whitewashers, Laundresses, and House Painters,
against lack of employment. G