luble. Read _Tourmalin's Time Cheques_, and
remember the prognostications of THE BARON DE BOOK-WORMS.

* * * * *

[Illustration: A SWEEPING REFORM.

_Crossing Sweeper_. "WOT'S THIS HERE? WOT! DO AWAY WITH THE
'CLEAN-YOUR-DOOR-STEP' HAMATOOR, AND MAKE IT A PAID PURFESSION!! WHY,
S'HELP ME, THEY'LL BE DOIN' AWAY WITH ME AND MY BROOM NEX', AND P'RAPS
'AVE THE CROSSIN'S SWEP' BY MASHEENERY! YAH!"]

* * * * *

ESSENCE OF PARLIAMENT.

EXTRACTED FBOM THE DIARY OF TOBY, M.P.

_House of Commons, Monday, April 6._--School reopened after Easter
Holidays. OLD MORALITY duly in his place, but not many of the boys.
Civil Service Estimates on; PLUNKET in charge on Ministerial side;
SAGE OF QUEEN ANNE'S GATE Leader of Opposition. Hammered away all
night on old familiar lines. Ghosts of old acquaintances feebly
crossed floor, disappearing behind SPEAKER's chair. Kensington Palace,
with its cost; Bushey House; Cambridge Cottage; admission to Holyrood
Palace; the deer in Home Park at Hampton Court; the pheasants in
Richmond Park; the frescoes in House of Lords; the Grille of the
Ladies' Gallery: the British Consular House at Cairo--each came up
in turn; talked about; protested against; explained; divided upon,
and voted. PLUNKET left to himself on Treasury Bench; bore up with
unflagging energy and perennial patience; has heard same points raised
every year since he was First Commissioner; has made same replies, and
has seen Votes passed. Long before he was in office same thing used
to go on with other First Commissioners. That was before the SAGE had
taken to politics. Good old RYLANDS--"Preposterous PETER"--was then
the Grand Inquisitor. But it was the same deer, the same gas-bills,
the same question of free residence for "that eminent warrior," as the
SAGE to-night called him, the Dook of CAMBRIDGE.

Oddly enough, almost only flash of humour through long sitting came
from GEORGE CAMPBELL. Gave graphic description of his hanging about
Holyrood Palace hankering after admission. According to existing
regulation, admission to be gained only after bang goes two saxpences.
For sixteen years Sir GEORGE ever lured to vicinity; sometimes
casually entered doorway, proposing to loiter past ticket-collector;
stopped by demand of a shilling, had resisted temptation. That was
sad, but what he felt most acutely was injury done to his nation.
Americans visiting Edinburgh on their wa