om having felt so much my own deficiencies)
for thoroughly industrious study, and for keeping, if
possible, externals and mentals in more order. Order,
I believe, would enable me to do much more than I
do in this way, without lessening those little "good
works" which my natural, unsanctified conscience
requires as a sedative; (alas that this is so nearly
all!) but I have got such an impression of selfishness
in sitting down to read to myself, that this, added to
unsettlement from company, etc., almost puts study
out of sight.

_8th Mo. 16th_. Letter to M.B.

* * * Though not only inability for, but even
natural repugnance to good thoughts is often a prominent
feeling, let us not think this a "discouraging
experience." What will be discouraged by it, except
that self-confidence and self-reliance which are the bane,
the very opposite, to the idea of faith? Surely it is for
_want_ of such a feeling, and not _because_ of it, that faith
is feeble. It is because we try to make those good
thoughts and holy feelings of which Thomas Charles
says so truly, "we are no more capable than we are of
creating worlds." I hope I do not presume too much in
writing thus. How little can I say of the blessings of a
contrary state! But how much would my heart's history
tell of the exceeding vanity and folly, and may I not add
_presumption_, of attempting to do what Divine grace alone
can do! How many a painful and gloomy hour might
have been cheered by the Sun of Righteousness, but for
my obstinacy in trying to light farthing candles! But
I believe there are generally _other_ obstacles at the same
time. We _will_ have some beloved indulgence, some
pleasures, of which perhaps the _will_ is the chief sin,
and which, if but willingly resigned, might be
reconsecrated for our use and enjoyment; and then darkness
and gloominess of mind follow, and we light matches
and farthing candles to comfort us, while these very
resources keep us back from seeking the radical remedy.
How easy it is to write or tell the diagnosis of such a
case! but to be reconciled to the true mode of treatment,
the prognosis, as doctors say, _there_ is the difficulty, while
I doubt not Cowper speaks the truth:--

"Were half the breath thus vainly spent
To heaven in supplication sent,
Your cheerful song would oftener be,
Hear what the Lord hath done for me."

I have