a long-suffering Saviour, whom I do
at times desire to love and serve with all my heart; and
not the least of His blessings I esteem it that any of His
children should care for me for His sake. I dread depending
on any, even of these, which, as well as the fear
of man, I have found does bring a snare; and as far as
experience goes, I seem to have tasted more of the "tree
of the knowledge of good and evil" than of the "tree
of life;" which, however, I would fain hope, "yielding
its fruit every month," has some for the wintry season
of darkness and of frost. Yes, my dear friend, thou hast
rightly judged in this also, that the winter is sometimes
very cold, and the night very dark. May thy desires
for me be accomplished, that these may indeed work for
my good; much as the utter absence of feeling would
sometimes tempt me to think it the result of that worst
of all sentences, "Let her alone;" to which the added
memories of many a "mercy cast away" are very ready
to contribute. Am I in this repining? I hope not; for
every day brings fresh cause to acknowledge that because
my enemies, though lively and strong, "do not
quite triumph over me," therefore I may still trust that
He favoreth me. It is seldom that I write or speak in this
way of myself. May we learn more and more of the
utter insufficiency of any earthly thing, or of any power
of our own to do what is essential for our salvation, and
then, when we hang solely and entirely on the Lord
Jesus, we shall be safe. Of this I feel no doubt or fear:--the
fear is of having confidence in any thing besides, of
spiritual pride, of self-sufficiency. Yes, I find self
has many lives, and the very sorrows and humiliations
of one day, if we do not beware, may become the idols
of the next. "We have eaten and drunk in thy presence:"
can such a language ever be used in vain-glory,
while we remember "the wormwood and the gall," which
we now see to have been administered in fulfilment of
His own words, "Ye shall indeed drink of my cup"?
Indeed, it seems to me that nothing is too high, too good,
or too pure for Satan to make use of, if he can but get
us and it into his hands. May the Lord be pleased to
rebuke this devourer for our sakes, and give at length to
the often-desponding heart to know that Himself hath
promised, "when the wicked are cut off, thou shalt see
it," and that the "God of peace s