e for
which we both value solitude, and how much my "lightly
stirred" spirit has been hurried about from one object to
another, I fear thou wouldst scarcely think even this
note other than presumptuous. Oh, how should I be rebuked
by the thought,

"One thing is needful, and but one:
Why do thy thoughts on many run?"

_12th Mo. 30th_. To-day ends the week, and to-morrow
the year. Very unfit am I to speak of it as I
would. I have felt very happy on some occasions,
yet I have feared lest what should be on a good
foundation is yet but built of "hay and stubble."
If so, who can tell the fierceness of the fire that
burns between me and my wished-for rest? There
is no way to true safety but through it; and, oh, to
part with all combustibles is very hard; but why
waste a thought on the hardness, could it but be
speedily and simply done? My old difficulty--what
is duty when the sensible help of grace is out of
sight--renews its strength. Doubtless to wait for it,
and perhaps ask for it also; but how? Oh that I
had crossed the great gulf from myself to my
Saviour! Oh that I were in His hands and out of
my own!

_2d Mo. 3d_, 1849. I have been sorely tried with
apparent desertion and darkness; "yet not deserted"
is my still struggling faith; and some consoling
thoughts have visited me of days still I trust in
store, when, "as one whom his mother comforteth,"
the Lord will comfort me. Dear J.T.'s counsel has
seldom been absent from my thoughts; but, manifold
as have been my heavenly Father's instrumental
mercies, I never was more impressed with the absolute
need of His immediate preserving care.

"Can I trust a fellow-being?
Can I trust an angel's care?
O thou merciful All-Seeing,
Beam around my spirit there."

And not less _here_, in this shady vale of life, than in
the deep of death. Oh, how desirable, how infinitely
sweet, to sleep in His arms, on His bosom! An early
translation, if it were His will, would indeed be a
blessed portion; but I do not expect such indulgence,
and desire not to wish it. It is enough if I may
know that "to live is Christ," and that to die will
at length be "great gain."

_2d Mo. 13th_. Seldom does any appeal to my heavenly
Father seem more fitting than this, "Thou
knowest my foolishness;" and, oh, may His arm of
mercy and compassion be one day revealed.

_3d Mo.--th_. Letter