had this choice put before
you: either to go through life and find all the pictures bad but all the
men and women good, or to go through life and find all the pictures good
and all the men and women rotten. Which would you choose?

RIDGEON. Thats a devilishly difficult question, Paddy. The pictures
are so agreeable, and the good people so infernally disagreeable and
mischievous, that I really cant undertake to say offhand which I should
prefer to do without.

SIR PATRICK. Come come! none of your cleverness with me: I'm too old for
it. Blenkinsop isnt that sort of good man; and you know it.

RIDGEON. It would be simpler if Blenkinsop could paint Dubedat's
pictures.

SIR PATRICK. It would be simpler still if Dubedat had some of
Blenkinsop's honesty. The world isnt going to be made simple for you,
my lad: you must take it as it is. Youve to hold the scales between
Blenkinsop and Dubedat. Hold them fairly.

RIDGEON. Well, I'll be as fair as I can. I'll put into one scale all the
pounds Dubedat has borrowed, and into the other all the half-crowns that
Blenkinsop hasnt borrowed.

SIR PATRICK. And youll take out of Dubedat's scale all the faith he has
destroyed and the honor he has lost, and youll put into Blenkinsop's
scale all the faith he has justified and the honor he has created.

RIDGEON. Come come, Paddy! none of your claptrap with me: I'm too
sceptical for it. I'm not at all convinced that the world wouldnt be a
better world if everybody behaved as Dubedat does than it is now that
everybody behaves as Blenkinsop does.

SIR PATRICK. Then why dont you behave as Dubedat does?

RIDGEON. Ah, that beats me. Thats the experimental test. Still, it's
a dilemma. It's a dilemma. You see theres a complication we havnt
mentioned.

SIR PATRICK. Whats that?

RIDGEON. Well, if I let Blenkinsop die, at least nobody can say I did it
because I wanted to marry his widow.

SIR PATRICK. Eh? Whats that?

RIDGEON. Now if I let Dubedat die, I'll marry his widow.

SIR PATRICK. Perhaps she wont have you, you know.

RIDGEON [with a self-assured shake of the head] I've a pretty good flair
for that sort of thing. I know when a woman is interested in me. She is.

SIR PATRICK. Well, sometimes a man knows best; and sometimes he knows
worst. Youd much better cure them both.

RIDGEON. I cant. I'm at my limit. I can squeeze in one more case, but
not two. I must choose.

SIR PATRICK. Well, you must choose as if she didnt exist: tha