s
booty from our enemies. Alas, our enemies combined and built a great
ivory wall and walled us in. And now my people steal from each other. I
have issued countless edicts against stealing, and even crucified a few
thieves, but it avails me nothing. My people steal and are proud of it.
Yet there is honor among my thieves. They are at heart law-abiding and
truth-telling citizens."

"How do you know they are?" asked Gud.

"I know, because I had a census taken in which I asked each and every
one if he were a thief, and all the thieves answered most truthfully
that they were thieves."

"How do you know they answered truthfully?" questioned Gud, as he
flecked his ash. "And if they are thieves, how can they be law-abiding
citizens?"

"That explanation is easy. You see, my people do not consider my edicts
against stealing as law because they maintain that it conflicts with
their established habits."

"Did you say all of your citizens were thieves?"

"No, not all; sixty per cent., to be specific. If you do not understand
percentage, that means that there are three thieves for every two honest
men."

When the king said this Gud's eyes brightened and a satisfied smile
beamed on his courtly countenance. "The trouble," said he, "is that your
system of government is wrong."

"What?" exclaimed the king. "I am the government. Am I wrong?"

"Yes, you should have another government."

"You mean that I should hire an assassin to kill me, so that my son
should be the government?"

"No," replied Gud, "I mean that you should have a different form of
government."

"I never heard of a different form of government!" declared the king,
throwing his cigar on the rug in his excitement.

"Then I will explain it to you. What you need is a democracy. Your
people want it for they have an innate sense of it already. They believe
in the majority rule. Because the majority of them are thieves they want
stealing legalized. In fact, to make law against stealing is, under the
circumstances, very demoralizing, for it breeds contempt for law."

"By my crown!" exclaimed the king, slapping his knee. "You are right. If
you will just show me how, we will make this democracy."

So Gud showed the king how to write a declaration of independence and
frame a democratic constitution, and then they staged abdication and the
king placed his crown in the historical museum.

When the king had done that, Gud said: "Now have a bill passed making
steali