le. _Paul Astier_
arrived late, and dressed for dinner. Excellent!

_Mrs. Brown._ But what's the plot?

_Brown._ Oh, _that's_ of secondary importance--the piece is a clever
skit upon modern manners! (_Tableau II. is played._) Capital! Wasn't
MADAME PASCA good when she wanted a glass of water?

_Mrs. Brown._ Quite too perfect! And her velvet and satin gown was
absolutely lovely! (_With determination._) I shall get one like it!

_Brown_ (_alarmed_). I am not so sure! You look better in muslins.

[_Last Act is played, and_ Paul Astier _is shot dead_.

_Mrs. Brown_ (_much affected_). Oh! what did they do _that_ for?

_Brown._ Don't you see--the reward of life. Hence the title.
(_Subsequently in the cab._) Wasn't it good? Didn't you enjoy
yourself?

_Mrs. Brown._ Very much indeed, but I _do_ wish you had got a book!
(_To herself._) Let me see--green velvet over white satin. (_Aloud._)
It will take about eighteen yards!

_Brown_ (_waking up_). Eighteen yards of what?

_Mrs. Brown._ Oh, nothing! I was only thinking.

[_Scene closes in upon a mental vision of the dress-maker from
opposite points of view._

* * * * *

"ALLOWED TO STARVE."--To save time, contributions to the Balaclava
Fund should be forwarded direct to the Editor of _The St. James's
Gazette_.

* * * * *

THE OPERA-GOER'S DIARY.

[Illustration: _Poor little Zelie (beseechingly)._ O Mr. Randegger,
_do_ let me have my bouquets!]

_Monday._--_Don Giovanni._ RAVELLI the Reliable an excellent _Don
Ottavio_, vocally; considered dramatically, he does as much as can be
expected of a man of his inches. _Zerlina_ and _Masetto_ so pleased
with his singing that they stop on the stage all through the _tessoro_
song, for which he takes a hearty _encore_, whereupon _Zerlina_ and
_Mazetto_ run off quickly. Having had enough of it, however, they do
not return for the _encore_. Rather rude this. DAN DRADY too sinister
for gay _Don Giovanni_; and there is a villanous determination
about his gallantry which would have frightened away the coquettish
_Zerlina_, and have warned the more mature ladies of the world, _Donna
Anna_ and _Donna Elvira_, in time to prevent them from falling victims
to his wiles. Otherwise a highly satisfactory _Don_. Signor PLUNKETTO
GREENO as the unfortunate _Commendatore_, who is first killed, and
then executed in stone, as a statue to his own memory, was heard and