e rejoiced the heart
Of her stout sire, the brave Professor?
AGNETA RAMSAY made good start,
But here's a shining she-successor!
Many a male who failed to pass
Will hear it with flushed face and jaw set.
But _Mr. Punch_ brims high his glass,
And drinks your health, Miss P. G. FAWCETT!

* * * * *

TAKEN FROM THE FRENCH PLAYS.

SCENE--_Her Majesty's Theatre._ _Enter_ Mr. _and_ Mrs. BROWN.

_Brown_ (_to_ Boxkeeper, _with the air of a Sovereign conferring an
Order upon a faithful subject_). There's sixpence for a programme.

_Boxkeeper._ Very sorry, Sir, but it isn't a programme; it's a Book of
the Argument, and we have to pay _that_ for it ourselves!

_Brown_ (_resenting the information_). Oh, bother! Then I'll do
without it.

_Mrs. Brown_ (_annoyed_). Why didn't you get a book? You know we'll
never understand it without one.

_Brown._ Nonsense, my dear! It's a distinct advantage to trust to
one's own resources.

[_Curtain goes up, and discovers a number of male characters,
who come on and go off severally._

_Mrs. Brown._ What are they talking about?

_Brown._ Oh, all sorts of things. (_Enter_ Mlle. DARLAUD, as Lydie
Vaillant.) Ah! you see this is the heroine.

_Mrs. Brown._ Is it? (_Examining her through opera-glass._) Very
simple frock. I think I shall have one like it.

_Brown_ (_dreading a dress-maker invasion_). Oh, it wouldn't suit you
at all. You always look better in silks and satins.

[_Entr'acte over._ _Second Act_, Madame PASCA appears, _and is
admirable_.

_Mrs. Brown_ (_deeply interested_). CHARLEY, dear, she's wearing
Russian net, and you know you can get it at----

_Brown_ (_hurriedly_). Hush, you are disturbing everybody.

_Mrs. Brown_ (_at end of Second Act_). What was it all about?

_Brown._ Oh, didn't you see. It was a castle, and a number of tourists
were shown round the pictures by an old servant. Excellent!

_Mrs. Brown._ I do so wish you would get a book.

_Brown._ Oh, we can do without it now--the piece is nearly over.

[_Third Act is played, and Curtain falls._

_Mrs. Brown._ Well, what was _that_ about?

_Brown._ Oh, didn't you see they had breakfast--and with tea too, not
with wine. Very strange how English customs are spreading.

[_Tableau I. of Act III. is played. Considerable applause._

_Mrs. Brown._ I don't quite understand _that_.

_Brown._ You don't! Why, it's as simple as possib