historian. To
call him an Historian is to knight a Mandrake; 'tis to view him
through a perspective, and, by that gross hyperbole, to give the
reputation of an engineer to a maker of mousetraps. When these weekly
fragments shall pass for history, let the poor man's box be entitled
the Exchequer, and the alms-basket a Magazine. Methinks the Turke
should license Diurnals, because he prohibits learning and books." He
characterises the Diurnal as "a puny chronicle, scarce pin-feathered
with the wings of time; it is a history in sippets; the English Iliads
in a nutshell; the Apocryphal Parliament's Book of Maccabees in single
sheets."

But Cleveland tells us that these Diurnals differ from a _Mercurius
Aulicus_ (the paper of his party),--"as the Devil and his Exorcist, or
as a black witch doth from a white one, whose office is to unravel her
enchantments."

The _Mercurius Aulicus_ was chiefly conducted by Sir JOHN BIRKENHEAD,
at Oxford, "communicating the intelligence and affairs of the court to
the rest of the kingdom." Sir John was a great wag, and excelled in
sarcasm and invective; his facility is equal to repartee, and his
spirit often reaches to wit: a great forger of tales, who probably
considered that a romance was a better thing than a newspaper.[330]
The royal party were so delighted with his witty buffoonery, that Sir
John was recommended to be Professor of Moral Philosophy at Oxford.
Did political lying seem to be a kind of moral philosophy to the
feelings of a party? The originality of Birkenhead's happy manner
consists in his adroit use of sarcasm: he strikes it off by means of a
parenthesis. I shall give, as a specimen, one of his summaries of what
the _Parliamentary Journals_ had been detailing during the week.

"The Londoners in print this week have been pretty copious. They say
that _a troop of the Marquess of Newcastle's horse have submitted to
the Lord Fairfax_. (They were part of the _German_ horse which came
over in the _Danish_ fleet.)[331] That the Lord _Wilmot hath been dead
five weeks, but the Cavaliers concealed his death_. (Remember this!)
That _Sir John Urrey[332] is dead and buried at Oxford_. (He died the
same day with the Lord Wilmot.) That the _Cavaliers, before they have
done, will HURREY all men into misery_. (This quibble hath been six
times printed, and nobody would take notice of it; now let's hear of
it no more!) That _all the Cavaliers which Sir William Waller took
prisoners (beside