nd honour of my
Maker; whereas, by this wicked course, all the bounty and kindness of
this gentleman became a snare to me, was a mere bait to the devil's
hook; I received his kindness at the dear expense of body and soul,
mortgaging faith, religion, conscience, and modesty for (as I may call
it) a morsel of bread; or, if you will, ruined my soul from a principle
of gratitude, and gave myself up to the devil, to show myself grateful
to my benefactor. I must do the gentleman that justice as to say I
verily believe that he did nothing but what he thought was lawful; and I
must do that justice upon myself as to say I did what my own conscience
convinced me, at the very time I did it, was horribly unlawful,
scandalous, and abominable.

But poverty was my snare; dreadful poverty! The misery I had been in was
great, such as would make the heart tremble at the apprehensions of its
return; and I might appeal to any that has had any experience of the
world, whether one so entirely destitute as I was of all manner of all
helps or friends, either to support me or to assist me to support
myself, could withstand the proposal; not that I plead this as a
justification of my conduct, but that it may move the pity even of those
that abhor the crime.

Besides this, I was young, handsome, and, with all the mortifications I
had met with, was vain, and that not a little; and, as it was a new
thing, so it was a pleasant thing to be courted, caressed, embraced, and
high professions of affection made to me, by a man so agreeable and so
able to do me good.

Add to this, that if I had ventured to disoblige this gentleman, I had
no friend in the world to have recourse to; I had no prospect--no, not
of a bit of bread; I had nothing before me but to fall back into the
same misery that I had been in before.

Amy had but too much rhetoric in this cause; she represented all those
things in their proper colours; she argued them all with her utmost
skill; and at last the merry jade, when she came to dress me, "Look ye,
madam," said she, "if you won't consent, tell him you will do as Rachel
did to Jacob, when she could have no children--put her maid to bed to
him; tell him you cannot comply with him, but there's Amy, he may ask
her the question; she has promised me she won't deny you."

"And would you have me say so, Amy?" said I.

"No, madam; but I would really have you do so. Besides, you are undone
if you do not; and if my doing it would save yo