my answer, I smiled, and
looking up at him, "And must I, then," says I, "say yes at first asking?
Must I depend upon your promise? Why, then," said I, "upon the faith of
that promise, and in the sense of that inexpressible kindness you have
shown me, you shall be obliged, and I will be wholly yours to the end of
my life;" and with that I took his hand, which held me by the hand, and
gave it a kiss.

And thus, in gratitude for the favours I received from a man, was all
sense of religion and duty to God, all regard to virtue and honour,
given up at once, and we were to call one another man and wife, who, in
the sense of the laws both of God and our country, were no more than two
adulterers; in short, a whore and a rogue. Nor, as I have said above,
was my conscience silent in it, though it seems his was; for I sinned
with open eyes, and thereby had a double guilt upon me. As I always
said, his notions were of another kind, and he either was before of the
opinion, or argued himself into it now, that we were both free and might
lawfully marry.

But I was quite of another side--nay, and my judgment was right, but my
circumstances were my temptation; the terrors behind me looked blacker
than the terrors before me; and the dreadful argument of wanting bread,
and being run into the horrible distresses I was in before, mastered all
my resolution, and I gave myself up as above.

The rest of the evening we spent very agreeably to me; he was perfectly
good-humoured, and was at that time very merry. Then he made Amy dance
with him, and I told him I would put Amy to bed to him. Amy said, with
all her heart; she never had been a bride in her life. In short, he made
the girl so merry that, had he not been to lie with me the same night,
I believe he would have played the fool with Amy for half-an-hour, and
the girl would no more have refused him than I intended to do. Yet
before, I had always found her a very modest wench as any I ever saw in
all my life; but, in short, the mirth of that night, and a few more such
afterwards, ruined the girl's modesty for ever, as shall appear
by-and-by, in its place.

So far does fooling and toying sometimes go that I know nothing a young
woman has to be more cautious of; so far had this innocent girl gone in
jesting between her and I, and in talking that she would let him lie
with her, if he would but be kinder to me, that at last she let him lie
with her in earnest; and so empty was I now of all