off for that time,
and only obtaining my leave to visit me again, he went away; and indeed
my heart was so full with what he had said already that I was glad when
he went away. Sometimes I was full of tenderness and affection for him,
and especially when he expressed himself so earnestly and passionately
about the child; other times I was crowded with doubts about his
circumstances. Sometimes I was terrified with apprehensions lest, if I
should come into a close correspondence with him, he should any way come
to hear what kind of life I had led at Pall Mall and in other places,
and it might make me miserable afterwards; from which last thought I
concluded that I had better repulse him again than receive him. All
these thoughts, and many more, crowded in so fast, I say, upon me that I
wanted to give vent to them and get rid of him, and was very glad when
he was gone away.

We had several meetings after this, in which still we had so many
preliminaries to go through that we scarce ever bordered upon the main
subject. Once, indeed, he said something of it, and I put it off with a
kind of a jest. "Alas!" says I, "those things are out of the question
now; 'tis almost two ages since those things were talked between us,"
says I. "You see I am grown an old woman since that." Another time he
gave a little push at it again, and I laughed again. "Why, what dost
thou talk of?" said I in a formal way. "Dost thou not see I am turned
Quaker? I cannot speak of those things now." "Why," says he, "the
Quakers marry as well as other people, and love one another as well.
Besides," says he, "the Quakers' dress does not ill become you," and so
jested with me again, and so it went off for a third time. However, I
began to be kind to him in process of time, as they call it, and we grew
very intimate; and if the following accident had not unluckily
intervened, I had certainly married him, or consented to marry him, the
very next time he had asked me.

I had long waited for a letter from Amy, who, it seems, was just at that
time gone to Rouen the second time, to make her inquiries about him; and
I received a letter from her at this unhappy juncture, which gave me the
following account of my business:--

I. That for my gentleman, who I had now, as I may say, in my arms, she
said he had been gone from Paris, as I have hinted, having met with some
great losses and misfortunes; that he had been in Holland on that very
account, whither he had also