w I had left my
woman behind me, so frighted with the danger she had been in that she
durst not venture to set her foot into a ship again any more, and that I
had not come myself if the bills I had of him had not been payable in
Holland; but that money, he might see, would make a woman go anywhere.

He seemed to laugh at all our womanish fears upon the occasion of the
storm, telling me it was nothing but what was very ordinary in those
seas, but that they had harbours on every coast so near that they were
seldom in danger of being lost indeed. "For," says he, "if they cannot
fetch one coast, they can always stand away for another, and run afore
it," as he called it, "for one side or other." But when I came to tell
him what a crazy ship it was, and how, even when they got into Harwich,
and into smooth water, they were fain to run the ship on shore, or she
would have sunk in the very harbour; and when I told him that when I
looked out at the cabin-door I saw the Dutchmen, one upon his knees
here, and another there, at their prayers, then indeed he acknowledged I
had reason to be alarmed; but, smiling, he added, "But you, madam," says
he, "are so good a lady, and so pious, you would but have gone to heaven
a little the sooner; the difference had not been much to you."

I confess when he said this it made all the blood turn in my veins, and
I thought I should have fainted. "Poor gentleman," thought I, "you know
little of me. What would I give to be really what you really think me to
be!" He perceived the disorder, but said nothing till I spoke; when,
shaking my head, "Oh, sir!" said I, "death in any shape has some terror
in it, but in the frightful figure of a storm at sea and a sinking ship,
it comes with a double, a treble, and indeed an inexpressible horror;
and if I were that saint you think me to be (which God knows I am not),
it is still very dismal. I desire to die in a calm, if I can." He said a
great many good things, and very prettily ordered his discourse between
serious reflection and compliment, but I had too much guilt to relish it
as it was meant, so I turned it off to something else, and talked of the
necessity I had on me to come to Holland, but I wished myself safe on
shore in England again.

He told me he was glad I had such an obligation upon me to come over
into Holland, however, but hinted that he was so interested in my
welfare, and, besides, had such further designs upon me, that if I had
not so ha