I believe Ury and I could trim out,
though they might not weigh jest right to the notch."

And I sez, "Justice has been used to that, to not weighin' things
right, it wouldn't surprise her." But I told him it would be sights of
work and mebby he'll give it up.

Soon afterwards we wuz all invited to dinner in this same house. And
so ignorant are the Chinese of Jonesville ways that at a dinner the
place of honor is at the left instead of the right of the host.
Everything that can be in China is topsy tervy and different from us.
I wuz chose for that honorable place at the left of our host. We all
stood for quite a while, for it is China table etiquette to try to
make the guest next to us set down first, but finally we all sot down
similtaneous and at the same time. Josiah thinks that it is because
China is right down under us the reason that she gits so turned over
and strange actin', but 'tennyrate, endin' our dinner as we do with
sweets, it didn't surprise me that we begun our dinner by havin'
sweetmeats passed, each one helpin' ourselves with chop sticks, queer
things to handle as I ever see, some like the little sticks I have
seen niggers play tunes with. Josiah seemed to enjoy hisen the best
that ever wuz, and to my horrow he took both on 'ern in his right hand
and begun to play Yankee Doodle on 'em.

I stepped on his foot hard under the table, and he broke off with a
low groan, but I spoze they would lay it to a foreigner's strange
ways. After the sweetmeats wuz partook of we had dried melon seeds,
the host handin' 'em round by the handful. Josiah slipped his into his
pocket. I wuz mortified enough, but he said:

"Of course he wants us to plant 'em; nobody but a fool would expect us
to eat melon seeds or horse feed."

I wuz glad Josiah didn't speak in China, I guess they didn't
understand him. A rice-wine wuz passed with this, which of course I
did not partake of. Much as I wanted to be polite I could not let this
chance pass of holdin' up my temperance banner. I had seen enough
trouble caused by folks in high station not holdin' up temperance
principles at banquets, and I wuzn't to be ketched in the same way, so
I waived it off with a noble and lofty jester, but Miss Meechim
drinked wine every time it wuz passed, and she got real tonguey before
we went home, and her eyes looked real kinder glassy--glassier than a
perfessor's eyes ort to look. Then we had bird's-nest soup, which is
one of the most costly luxu