r
them."

"Well," sez he, "we could name one Little Uncle, and one Spindlin'
Deacon, if they insisted on't."

Josiah wuz in real good sperits, I laid it partly to the tea, it wuz
real stimulating; Josiah said that it beat all that the Chinese wuz so
blinded and out of the way as to do things so different from what they
did in Jonesville. "But," sez he, "they're politer on the outside than
the Jonesvillians, even down to the coolers."

Sez I, "Do you mean the coolies?"

"Yes, the coolers, the hired help, you know," sez he. "Catch Ury
fixin' his eye on his left side coat collar when he speaks to me not
dastin' to lift it, and bowin' and scrapin' when I told him to go and
hitch up, or bring in a pail of water, and catch him windin' his hair
in a wod when he wuz out by himself and then lettin' it down his back
when he came to wait on me."

Sez I, "Ury's hair is too short to braid."

"Well, you can spozen the case, can't you? But as I wuz sayin', for
all these coolers are so polite, I would trust Ury as fur agin as I
would any on 'em. And then they write jest the other way from we do in
Jonesville, begin their letters on the hind side and write towards
'em; and so with planin' a board, draw the plane towards 'em. I would
like to see Ury try that on any of my lumber. And because we
Jonesvillians wear black to funerals, they have to dress in white.
Plow would I looked at my mother-in-law's funeral with a white night
gown on and my hair braided down my back with a white ribbin on it?
It would have took away all the happiness of the occasion to me.

"And then their language, Samantha, it is fixed in such a fool way
that when they want a word different, they yell up the same word
louder and that makes it different, as if I wuz to say to Ury kinder
low and confidential, 'I shall be the next president, Ury;' and then I
should yell up the same words a little louder and that would mean,
'Feed the brindle steer;' there hain't no sense in it. But I spoze one
thing that ails them is their havin' to stand bottom side up, their
feet towards Jonesville. Their blood runs the wrong way. Mebby I
shouldn't do any better than they do if I stood so the hull of the
time; mebby I should let my finger nails grow out like bird's claws
and shake my own hands when I meet company instead of theirn. Though,"
sez Josiah, dreamily, "I don't know but I shall try that in
Jonesville; I may on my return from my travels walk up to Elder
Minkley and t