nds
of the family are admitted to the house.

Should you send flowers, do not purchase or order any set designs. They
are hideous--remind one of the tenement funerals, and are strikingly
inappropriate. A bunch of white roses or of violets is a beautiful
offering for a young woman, or two palms crossed, with violets or lilies
of the valley attached, for a man or an elderly person. These should be
accompanied by your card. If you have been an intimate friend, a few
words written--a short note of condolence--would not be amiss. To all of
these notes, and in acknowledgment of these offerings, one of the family
nearest the deceased in relationship should respond by sending their
card with the words, "Thank you for your kind sympathy," or something of
that sort, written upon it.

As a rule, when the deceased is a young man who belongs to several clubs
or who has a numerous acquaintance, it is better to have the funeral
from a church. Pallbearers are chosen from among his intimate friends; a
relative never acts as pallbearer. It is not customary for any except
the nearest relatives to go to the cemetery. Ladies of the family do not
accompany the remains to the cemetery, and they frequently do not attend
the funeral services at the church if the deceased is a man.

If the funeral services are held at the house the relatives and intimate
friends are invited into the back parlor, dining room, or upstairs, and
make their appearance only when the services begin. The undertaker
attends to seating people, arranging the rooms, etc.

There is only one proper dress for a man to wear at a funeral. It should
consist of black frock coat, dark trousers, dark scarf and gloves (gray
or dark tan, but not black, unless you are a relative), and top hat.
Should you be a relative or a pallbearer, wear a black weed on your hat.

As to periods of mourning, there seems to be some little difference of
opinion in New York. Ward McAllister treated the subject in quite an
exhaustive manner, advocating short mourning terms even for the nearest
relatives. For a wife eighteen months is considered the proper thing;
for a parent, twelve to eighteen months, sometimes two years; for a
brother or a sister, one year; and for a grandparent, six months. A
maternal or paternal uncle or aunt is entitled to about two months or
less, according to the intimacy which has existed between the families.
Seclusion from society is generally consonant with mourning for nea