o you mean, to
make my lady lose her game thus? Pray, come back, and take up her
cards again.
_Mrs Brain._ My husband, as I live! Well, for all my quarrel to you,
step immediately into that little dark closet: it is for my private
occasions; there is no lock, but he will not stay.
_Wood._ Thus am I ever tantalized! [_Goes in._
_Enter_ BRAINSICK.
_Brain._ What, am I become your drudge? your slave? the property of
all your pleasures? Shall I, the lord and master of your life, become
subservient; and the noble name of husband be dishonoured? No, though
all the cards were kings and queens, and Indies to be gained by every
deal--
_Mrs Brain._ My dear, I am coming to do my duty. I did but go up a
little, (I whispered you for what) and am returning immediately.
_Brain._ Your sex is but one universal ordure, a nuisance, and
incumbrance of that majestic creature, man: yet I myself am mortal
too. Nature's necessities have called me up; produce your utensil of
urine.
_Mrs Brain._ It is not in the way, child: You may go down into the
garden.
_Brain._ The voyage is too far: though the way were paved with pearls
and diamonds, every step of mine is precious, as the march of
monarchs.
_Mrs Brain._ Then my steps, which are not so precious, shall be
employed for you: I will call up Judith.
_Brain._ I will not dance attendance. At the present, your closet
shall be honoured.
_Mrs Brain._ O lord, dear, it is not worthy to receive such a man as
you are.
_Brain._ Nature presses; I am in haste.
_Mrs Brain._ He must be discovered, and I unavoidably undone!
[_Aside._
[BRAINSICK _goes to the door, and_ WOODALL
_meets him: She shrieks out._
_Brain._ Monsieur Woodall!
_Wood._ Sir, begone, and make no noise, or you will spoil all.
_Brain._ Spoil all, quotha! what does he mean, in the name of wonder?
_Wood._ [_Taking him aside._] Hark you, Mr Brainsick, is the devil in
you, that you and your wife come hither, to disturb my intrigue, which
you yourself engaged me in, with Mrs Tricksy, to revenge you on
Limberham? Why, I had made an appointment with her here; but, hearing
somebody come up, I retired into the closet, till I was satisfied it
was not the keeper.
_Brain._ But why this intrigue in my wife's chamber?
_Wood._ Why, you turn my brains, with talking to me of
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