me," I said, indignantly.

"My dear fellow," protested Mr. Jelnik, "you _are_ behaving
unmannerly, you know. The simple truth is, I was so fortunate
as to be of assistance to Miss Smith. She had an unpleasant
experience--fell and gave her head such a nasty bump, that it made
her faint. I'm afraid I splashed her a bit when I was trying to
revive her. I thought best to bring her here and give her a
stimulant. She didn't want to stagger home and alarm the whole
household unnecessarily."

"Is this true?" The Author asked me, rudely.

"You heard what Mr. Jelnik said!" I flamed.

"One allows somewhat more license to genius than might be accorded
ordinary mortals; but really, you know, there are limits," Mr.
Jelnik reminded him. "You're beginning to be rather a nuisance. It's
unfortunate to have to remind a man, in one's own house, that he's a
nuisance."

"I think you are, too!" I told The Author--"bursting into people's
houses like an East-Side policeman, asking outrageous questions in
an outrageous manner, and then questioning the answers one is
patient enough to give you! What right have you got to ask _any_
questions?"

"I'd rather like to know that, myself," put in Mr. Jelnik.

The Author straightened his shoulders, drew himself up to his full
height, and folded his arms. He is an impressively tall man.

"Should you?" said he, quietly. "Well, I'll tell you--the right of
an honest man to protect the woman he happens to want to marry."

I sat down, suddenly. I'm afraid my eyes popped, and I know my mouth
fell open. I had the doubtful satisfaction of seeing Mr. Nicholas
Jelnik's eyes and mouth open, too. After an astounded moment:

"Isn't this rather sudden?" wondered Mr. Jelnik. "Who'd suspect this
fellow of volcanic possibilities?"

"I do Miss Smith no dishonor when I ask her to be my wife," said The
Author, haughtily. "_I_ am no adventurer. She can never suspect _me_
of ulterior motives!"

"Heavens, no! Like Caesar's wife, you are above suspicion; which, of
course, gives you the right to suspect everybody else! But you were
about to propose to Miss Smith in due form, were you not? Miss
Smith, you will permit me to withdraw? I have never before been a
third party to a proposal of marriage, and I confess I do not
exactly understand what is expected of me," said Mr. Jelnik,
delicately.

The Author smiled wryly.

"You succeed in making me appear a fool," he admitted. "That is no
mean achievement, young ma