at all. Sleep with your head flat. How many blankets?"

"Two, and a comfort."

"One army blanket, except in extremely cold weather," said the
doctor. "Do you like a pipe?"

"It always makes me sick. I peculiarly and particularly loathe and
detest a pipe."

"A pipe, my dear, deluded woman, is a comfort, a stay, a prop to a
man's soul, an aid to meditation and repose. I insist upon a
pipe--within moderation, of course. Do you like parrots? Sophy, are
you capable of supporting a parrot? I have already perceived your
reprehensible fondness for cats." He looked at his scratched hand.

"I have always wanted a parrot. I think they're the most--"

"Damnable brutes!" finished the doctor. "Gad, I'd as lief live in
the house with Sophronisba One! It is not moral to like a parrot.
What do you think of stewed rhubarb?"

I made a wry face. I abhor stewed rhubarb. Somehow, it always makes
me think of orphans in long-waisted gingham dresses with white china
buttons down the back. One way of punishing children for losing
their parents is to make them wear dark gingham dresses with china
buttons down the back and to eat stewed rhubarb for dessert.

"Tell me what you eat and I'll tell you what you are," pronounced
the doctor. "It's a sign of moral rectitude to eat stewed rhubarb.
Now, as to science: what is your attitude toward evolution?"

"Well, I think plenty of men turn themselves into monkeys, but I
refuse to believe that God ever turned a monkey into a man."

"Ha!" mused the doctor, pulling his nose; "I see! Do you insist
upon a sacrosanct meal hour? Are your meal hours fixed, even as the
laws of the Medes and the Persians?"

"How else, pray, shall one run one's house with any degree of
system?" I wanted to know.

"Bunk!" snorted the doctor. "_I_ eat when I'm hungry! Now, lastly,
sister, tell me truthfully: are you a Democrat or a Republican?"

"I don't see much difference: they're both of them nothing but
_men_."

"I knew it!" The doctor shook his head with sad triumph. "She'd
scratch Brown, because she didn't like the expression of his ears,
and vote for Jones, because he had such beautiful whiskers! My dear,
dear woman, can't you see that it's almost a law of nature for you
and me, who don't agree about anything, to marry each other?"

"I don't even agree with you as to that!" said I, and fell into
helpless laughter.

"It rather looks like flying in the face of Providence not to," he
warned me. "In the meanti