eceived an
account of my uncle's resentment, and communicated his intelligence with
the utmost industry of groveling insolence.

18. It was no longer practicable to consort with my former friends,
unless I would be content to be used as an inferior guest, who was to
pay for his wine by mirth and flattery; a character which, if I could
not escape it, I resolved to endure only among those who had never known
me in the pride of plenty.

19. I changed my lodgings, and frequented the coffee houses in a
different region of the town; where I was very quickly distinguished by
several young gentlemen of high birth, and large estates, and began
again to amuse my imagination with hopes of preferment, though not quite
so confidently as when I had less experience.

20. The first great conquest which this new scene enabled me to gain
over myself was, when I submitted to confess to a party, who invited me
to an expensive diversion, that my revenues were not equal to such
golden pleasures; they would not suffer me, however, to stay behind, and
with great reluctance I yielded to be treated. I took that opportunity
of recommending myself to some office or employment, which they
unanimously promised to procure me by their joint interest.

21. I had now entered into a state of dependence, and had hopes, or
fears, from almost every man I saw. If it be unhappy to have one patron,
what is his misery who has so many? I was obliged to comply with a
thousand caprices, to concur in a thousand follies, and to countenance a
thousand errors. I endured innumerable mortifications, if not from
cruelty, at least from negligence, which will creep in upon the kindest
and most delicate minds, when they converse without the mutual awe of
equal condition.

22. I found the spirit and vigour of liberty every moment sinking in me,
and a servile fear of displeasing, stealing by degrees upon all my
behaviour, till no word, or look, or action, was my own. As the
solicitude to please increased, the power of pleasing grew less, and I
was always clouded with diffidence where it was most my interest and
wish to shine.

23. My patrons, considering me as belonging to the community, and,
therefore, not the charge of any particular person, made no scruple of
neglecting any opportunity of promoting me, which every one thought more
properly the business of another. An account of my expectations and
disappointments, and the succeeding vicissitudes of my life, I shall