ong!" thundered my father; "Frank will read this spiritual
production to you. Every line breathes a deep anxiety on old
Kitty's part for my soul's welfare, earthly considerations being
non-important. Read, Frank, and if you will not devoutly wish that the
doting fool was at the dev--"

"Stop, my dear James."

"Well-read, Frank, and say, when you hear the contents, whether you
would be particularly sorry to learn that the old lady had, as sailors
say, her hands well greased, and a fast hold upon the moon? Read,
d----n it, man! there's no trouble in deciphering my aunt Catharine's
penmanship. Hers is not what Tony Lumpkin complained of--a cursed
cramp hand; all clear and unmistakable--the _t_'s accurately stroked
across, and the _i_'s dotted to a nicety. Go on--read, man, read."

I obeyed the order, and thus ran the missive, my honored father adding
a running commentary at every important passage; shall place them in
italics--

"'MY DEAR NEPHEW,'"

"_Oh, ---- her affection!_"

"'If, by a merciful dispensation, I shall be permitted to have a few
spiritual minded friends to-morrow, at four o'clock, at dinner--'"

"_Temps militaire--they won't fail you, my old girl._"

"'I shall then have reached an age to which few arrive--look to the
psalm--namely, to eighty--'"

"_She's eighty-three_--"

"'I have, under the mercy of Providence, and the ministry of a
chosen vessel, the Reverend Carter Kettlewell, and also a worshiping
Christian learned in the law, namely, Mr. Selby Sly, put my earthly
house in order. Would that spiritual preparation could he as easily
accomplished; but yet I feel well convinced that mine is a state of
grace, and Mr. Kettlewell gives me a comfortable assurance that in me
the old man if crucified--'"

"_Did you ever listen to such rascally cant?_"

"'I have given instructions to Mr. Sly to make my will, and Mr.
Kettlewell has kindly consented to be the trustee and executor--"

"_Now comes the villainy, no doubt_"

"'I have devised--may the offering be graciously received!--all that
I shall die possessed of to make an addition to support those devoted
soldiers--not, dear nephew, soldiers in your carnal meaning of the
word--but the ministers of the gospel, who labor in New Zealand. These
inestimable men, whose courage is almost supernatural, and who--'"

"_Pish--what an old twaddler!_"

"'Although annually eaten by converted cannibals, still press forward
at the trumpet-call--"'

"_I won