the rout came
before the old fool completed the New Zealand business!_"

"'As heir-at-law, you are in direct remainder, and the will, not being
executed, is merely wastepaper: but, from the draft, the intentions
of your inestimable aunt can clearly be discovered. Although not
binding in law, let me say there is such a thing as Christian
equity that should guide you. The New Zealand bequest, involving a
direct application of 10,000l. to meet the annual expenditure of
gospel-soldiers--there being a constant drain upon these sacred
harbingers of peace, from the native fancy of preferring a deviled
missionary to a stewed kangaroo--that portion of the intended
testament I would not press upon you. But the intentional behests of
500l. to the Rev. Carter Kettlewell, the same sum to myself, and an
annuity to Miss Grace Lightbody of 50l. a year, though not recoverable
in law, under these circumstances should be faithfully confirmed.

"'It may be gratifying to acquaint you with some particulars of the
last moments of your dear relative, and one of the most devout, nay,
I may use the term safely, evangelical elderly gentlewomen for whom I
have had the honor to transact business.'"

"_Stop, Frank. Pass over the detail. It might be too affecting._"

"'I await your directions for the funeral. My lamented friend and
client had erected a catacomb in the Siloam Chapel, and in the
minister's vault, and she frequently expressed a decided wish that
her dust might repose with faithful servants, who, in season and out
of season, fearlessly grappled with the man of sin, who is arrayed
in black, and the woman who sitteth on the seven hills, dressed in
scarlet.'"

"_Hang the canting vagabond--why not call people by their proper
titles; name Old Nick at once, and the lady whose soubriquet
is unmentionable, but who, report says, has a town residence in
Babylon._"

Constance and I laughed; my mother, as usual, looking demure and
dignified. Another twinge of the gout altogether demolished the
commander's temper.

"_Stop that scoundrel's jargon. Run your eye over the remainder, and
tell me what the fellow's driving at._"

I obeyed the order.

"Simply, sir, Mr. Sly desires to know whether you have any objection
to old Kitty taking peaceable possession of her catacomb in the Dublin
gospel-shop which she patronized, or would you prefer that she were
'pickled and sent home,' as Sir Lucius says."

"Heaven forbid that I should interfere with