still a worthy sovereign;
for, after all, he is but a new and most bulky avatar of Almighty
Dollar.

No objection whatsoever can be made to the _deglutinatio Fijiana_ on the
score of utility. The islands of the Fijians are but small; no Fijian
Attila can lead forth his hosts into neighboring countries; no Fijian
Goths can pour down from Polynesian Alps into an Oceanic Italy; no
Athenians can there send sons and gods to a Coreyra: and no Fijian Miles
Standish can there walk up and down before his pipe-clayed bandoleers in
foreign colonies. How, then, can an over-increase of population be more
harmoniously prevented than by making the young and sleek furnish the
starving with a plump existence? Is it not, economically viewed,
the principle of Dr. Franklin's smoke-consuming pipe applied to the
infinitely more important sphere of human existence? The festive table,
to which, according to the great Malthus, Nature declines inviting a
large portion of every well-peopled country, will never be known by
the happy Fijian Say or Senior, so long as wise conservatism shall not
change its old and sacred laws, and shall allow Nature to invite one
happy portion as guests, and another happy portion as savory dishes. It
is Nature in modest simplicity, as it is exhibited in half-a-dozen mice
in a deep kettle, of whom one survivor and material representative
remains. The Chinese expose female infants, and lawful infanticide has
been abolished in some districts of the British East Indies within these
thirty years only. Would it not be wiser to reassimilate the tender dear
ones, and think of them ever after with smacking memory?

It is true, indeed, that, upon the whole, Fijian gastronomy leers more
toward the tender sex than toward that which in our country wears the
trousers uncrinolined. But, we submit, is this a fair objection? Why
_is_ the tender sex more _tender?_ Lately, when an orator had strongly
expressed himself against the maxim of patriotic office-hunters,--"To
the victor belong the spoils," he was very logically asked,--"And pray,
Sir, to whom should the spoils belong, if not to the victor?" So we
would ask, should any one complain of girls being thus economized by
men,--"Who, in the name of common sense, should, if not men? Would you
have them perform that sacrificial duty for one another?"

But whatever may be thought, by some of our lovely readers, of this last
argument, (which henceforth may be termed _argumentum marcian