ce. It
won't 'alf go with that."

"It won't indeed," I agreed heartily. Then, looking up from my eggs
and bacon, I added: "By the way, Gertie, I've never thanked you for
your letter. I had no idea you could, write so well."

"Go on!" said Gertie doubtfully; "you're gettin' at me now."

"No, I'm not," I answered. "It was a very nice letter. It said just
what you wanted to say and nothing more. That's the whole art of good
letter-writing." Then a sudden idea struck me. "Look here, Gertie," I
went on, "will you undertake a little job for me if I explain it to
you?"

She nodded. "Oo--rather. I'd do any think for you."

"Well, it's something I may want you to do for me after I've left."

Her face fell. "You ain't goin' away from 'ere--not for good?"

"Not entirely for good," I said. "I hope to do a certain amount of
harm to at least one person before I come back." I paused. "It's just
possible," I continued, "that after I've gone somebody may come to
the house and ask questions about me--how I spent my time while I was
here, and that sort of thing. If they should happen to ask you, I want
you to tell them that I used to stay in bed most of the day and go to
the theatre in the evening. Do you mind telling a lie for me?"

Gertie looked at me in obvious amazement. "I _don't_ think," she
observed. "Wotjer taike me for--a Sunday-school teacher?"

"No, Gertie," I said gravely; "no girl with your taste in hats could
possibly be a Sunday-school teacher." Then pushing away my plate and
lighting a cigarette, I added: "I'll leave you a stamped addressed
envelope and a telegraph form. You can send me the wire first to say
if any one has called, and then write me a line afterwards by post
telling me what they were like and what they said."

"I can do that orl right," she answered eagerly. "If they talks to
Mrs. Oldbury I'll listen at the keyhole."

I nodded. "It's a practice that the best moralists condemn," I said,
"but after all, the recording angel does it." Then getting up from
the table, I added: "You might tell Mrs. Oldbury I should like to see
her."

When that good lady arrived I acquainted her with the fact that I
intended to leave her house in about two hours' time. Any resentment
which she might have felt over this slightly abrupt departure was
promptly smoothed away by my offer to take on the rooms for at least
another fortnight. I did this partly with the object of leaving a
pleasant impression behind me, and p