fall into my error; for that begun with carrying on a prohibited
correspondence; a correspondence which I thought it in my power to
discontinue at pleasure. My talent is scribbling; and I the readier fell
into this freedom, as I found delight in writing; having motives too,
which I thought laudable; and, at one time, the permission of all my
friends; to write to him.*

* See Vol. I. Letter III.

Yet, as to this correspondence, What hurt could arise from it, if your
mother could be prevailed upon to permit it to be continued?--So much
prudence and discretion as you have; and you, in writing to me, lying
under no temptation of following so bad an example as I have set--my
letters too occasionally filled with self-accusation.

I thank you, my dear, most cordially I thank you, for your kind offers.
You may be assured, that I will sooner be beholden to you, than to any
body living. To Mr. Lovelace the last. Do not therefore think, that
by declining your favours, I have an intention to lay myself under
obligations to him.

I am willing to hope (notwithstanding what you write) that my friends
will send me my little money, together with my clothes. They are too
considerate, some of them at least, to permit that I should be put to
such low difficulties. Perhaps, they will not be in haste to oblige me.
But, if not, I cannot yet want. I believe you think, I must not dispute
with Mr. Lovelace the expenses of the road and lodgings, till I can get
a fixed abode. But I hope soon to put an end even to those small sort of
obligations.

Small hopes indeed of a reconciliation from your account of my uncle's
visit to your mother, in order to set her against an almost friendless
creature whom once he loved! But is it not my duty to try for it?
Ought I to widen my error by obstinacy and resentment, because of their
resentment; which must appear reasonable to them, as they suppose my
flight premeditated; and as they are made to believe, that I am capable
of triumphing in it, and over them, with the man they hate? When I have
done all in my power to restore myself to their favour, I shall have the
less to reproach myself with.

These considerations make me waver about following your advice, in
relation to marriage; and the rather, as he is so full of complaisance
with regard to my former conditions, which he calls my injunctions.
Nor can I now, that my friends, as you inform me, have so strenuously
declared against accepting o