etersburg official, but plenty
about Kostroma and Saratov ones. A pity you don't read the letters.
There are some very fine passages in them. For instance, not long ago a
lieutenant writes to a friend describing a ball very wittily.--Splendid!
"Dear friend," he says, "I live in the regions of the Empyrean, lots of
girls, bands playing, flags flying." He's put a lot of feeling into his
description, a whole lot. I've kept the letter on purpose. Would you
like to read it?

GOVERNOR. No, this is no time for such things. But please, Ivan Kuzmich,
do me the favor, if ever you chance upon a complaint or denunciation,
don't hesitate a moment, hold it back.

POSTMASTER. I will, with the greatest pleasure.

AMMOS. You had better be careful. You may get yourself into trouble.

POSTMASTER. Goodness me!

GOVERNOR. Never mind, never mind. Of course, it would be different if
you published it broadcast. But it's a private affair, just between us.

AMMOS. Yes, it's a bad business--I really came here to make you a
present of a puppy, sister to the dog you know about. I suppose you have
heard that Cheptovich and Varkhovinsky have started a suit. So now I
live in clover. I hunt hares first on the one's estate, then on the
other's.

GOVERNOR. I don't care about your hares now, my good friend. That cursed
incognito is on my brain. Any moment the door may open and in walk--

SCENE III

Enter Bobchinsky and Dobchinsky, out of breath.

BOBCHINSKY. What an extraordinary occurrence!

DOBCHINSKY. An unexpected piece of news!

ALL. What is it? What is it?

DOBCHINSKY. Something quite unforeseen. We were about to enter the inn--

BOBCHINSKY [interrupting]. Yes, Piotr Ivanovich and I were entering the
inn--

DOBCHINSKY [interrupting]. Please, Piotr Ivanovich, let me tell.

BOBCHINSKY. No, please, let me--let me. You can't. You haven't got the
style for it.

DOBCHINSKY. Oh, but you'll get mixed up and won't remember everything.

BOBCHINSKY. Yes, I will, upon my word, I will. PLEASE don't interrupt!
Do let me tell the news--don't interrupt! Pray, oblige me, gentlemen,
and tell Dobchinsky not to interrupt.

GOVERNOR. Speak, for Heaven's sake! What is it? My heart is in my mouth!
Sit down, gentlemen, take seats. Piotr Ivanovich, here's a chair for
you. [All seat themselves around Bobchinsky and Dobchinsky.] Well, now,
what is it? What is it?

BOBCHINSKY. Permit me, permit me. I'll tell it all just as it happened.
As soon a