the
guests. And wild work he made of it; good Days, bad Days, all were
shuffled together. He had stuck the Twenty-first of June next to the
Twenty-second of December, and the former looked like a Maypole by the
side of a marrow bone. Ash Wednesday got wedged in betwixt Christmas and
Lord Mayor's Day.

At another part of the table, Shrove Tuesday was helping the Second of
September to some broth, which courtesy the latter returned with the
delicate thigh of a pheasant. The Last of Lent was springing upon
Shrovetide's pancakes; April Fool, seeing this, told him that he did
well, for pancakes were proper to a good fry-day.

May Day, with that sweetness which is her own, made a neat speech
proposing the health of the founder. This being done, the lordly New
Year from the upper end of the table, in a cordial but somewhat lofty
tone, returned thanks.

They next fell to quibbles and conundrums. The question being proposed,
who had the greatest number of followers--the Quarter Days said there
could be no question as to that; for they had all the creditors in the
world dogging their heels. But April Fool gave it in favor of the Forty
Days before Easter; because the debtors in all cases outnumbered the
creditors, and they kept Lent all the year.

At last, dinner being ended, the Days called for their cloaks, and great
coats, and took their leaves. Lord Mayor's Day went off in a Mist as
usual; Shortest Day in a deep black Fog, which wrapped the little
gentleman all round like a hedgehog.

Two Vigils, or watchmen, saw Christmas Day safe home. Another Vigil--a
stout, sturdy patrol, called the Eve of St. Christopher--escorted Ash
Wednesday.

Longest Day set off westward in beautiful crimson and gold--the rest,
some in one fashion, some in another, took their departure.

FOOTNOTE:

[Footnote 28: By Charles Lamb, an English essayist and humorist
(1775-1834).]

EXPRESSION: What holidays are named in this selection? What
holidays do you know about that were not present at this dinner?
Refer to the dictionary and learn about all the days here
mentioned. Select the humorous passages in this story, and tell why
you think they are humorous.

THE TOWN PUMP[29]

[SCENE.--_The corner of two principal streets. The Town Pump talking
through its nose._]

Noon, by the north clock! Noon, by the east! High noon, too, by those
hot sunbeams which fall, scarcely aslope, upon my head, and almost make
the