o eat. However,
let no one think, who may read these lines, that I favor the use of
whisky as a medicine, for I don't. But the situation in those Helena
hospitals was unusual and abnormal. The water was bad, our food was no
good and very unsatisfactory, and the conditions generally were simply
wretched. I am not blaming the military authorities. They doubtless did
the best they could. It seemed to me that I was getting weaker every
day. It looked as if something had to be done, and acting on the maxim
that "desperate cases require desperate remedies," I resorted for the
time being to the whisky treatment. I made one unsuccessful attempt
afterwards to get some to serve as a tonic, which perhaps may be
mentioned later, and then forever abandoned the use of the stuff for
any purpose.

Immediately succeeding the above mentioned incident, the fever let up
on me, and I began to get better, though still very weak. My great
concern, right now, was to rejoin the regiment just as soon as
possible. It was taking part in an active campaign, in which fighting
was expected, and the idea was intolerable that the other boys should
be at the front, marching and fighting, while I was in the rear,
playing the part of a "hospital pimp." It was reported that a steamboat
was going to leave soon, via Mississippi and White rivers, with
convalescents for Steele's army, and I made up my mind to go on that
boat, at all hazards. But to accomplish that it was necessary, as I was
informed, to get a written permit from the Division Surgeon, Maj.
Shuball York, of the 54th Illinois Infantry. So one morning, bright and
early, I blacked my shoes and brushed up my old cap and clothing
generally, and started to Maj. York's headquarters to get the desired
permission. He was occupying a large two-story house, with shade trees
in the yard, in the residence part of town, and his office was in the
parlor, in the first story of the building. I walked in, and found an
officer of the rank of Major seated at a table, engaged in writing. I
removed my cap and, standing at attention, saluted him, and asked if
this was Maj. York, and was answered in the affirmative. I had my
little speech carefully prepared, and proceeded at once to deliver it,
as follows:

"My name is Leander Stillwell; I am a sergeant of Co. D, of the 61st
Illinois Infantry, which is now with Gen. Steele's army. The regiment
marched about a week ago, and, as I was then sick with a fever, I could
n