why babies can't be sawed off onto people that need them
in their business. Our folks don't need a baby any more than you need a
safe, and there are people just suffering for babies. Say, how would it
be to take the baby some night and leave it on some old batchelor's door
step. If it had been a bicycle, or a breech loading shot-gun, I wouldn't
have cared, but a baby! Bah! It makes me tired. I'd druther have a prize
package. Well, I am sorry Pa allowed me to come home, after he drove
me away last week. I guess all he wanted me to come back for was to
humiliate me, and send me on errands. Well, I must go and see if he and
the cat have made up."

And the boy went out and put a paper sign in front of the store:

LEAVE YOUR MEASURE

FOR SAFFRON TEA.

CHAPTER VIII.

THE BABY AND THE GOAT--THE BAD BOY THINKS HIS SISTER WILL BE
A FIRE ENGINE--"OLD NUMBER TWO "--BABY REQUIRES GOAT MILK--
THE GOAT IS FRISKY--TAKES TO EATING ROMAN CANDLES--THE OLD
MAN, THE HIRED GIRL AND THE GOAT--THE BAD BOY BECOMES TELLER
IN A LIVERY STABLE.

"Well, how is the baby?" asked the grocery man of the bad boy, as he
came into the grocery smelling very "horsey," and sat down on the chair
with the back gone, and looked very tired.

"O, darn the baby. Everybody asks me about the baby as though it was
mine. I don't pay no attention to the darn thing, except to notice the
foolishness going on around the house. Say, I guess that baby will grow
up to be a fire engine. The nurse coupled the baby onto a section of
rubber hose that runs down into a bottle of milk, and it began to get up
steam and pretty soon the milk began to disappear, just like the water
does when a fire engine couples on to a hydrant. Pa calls the baby "Old
Number Two." I am "Number One," and if Pa had a hook and ladder truck
and a hose cart, and a fire gong he would imagine he was chief engineer
of the fire department. But the baby kicks on this milk wagon milk, and
howls like a dog that's got lost. The doctor told Pa the best thing he
could do was to get a goat, but Pa said since we 'nishiated him into the
Masons with the goat he wouldn't have a goat around no how. The doc told
Pa the other kind of a goat, I think it was a Samantha goat he
said, wouldn't kick with its head, and Pa sent me up into the Polack
settlement to see if I couldn't borrow a milk goat for a few weeks. I
got a w