that was good.

* * * * *

Now, gentle American Critic, whose magnanimity is proverbial, before
thou abusest this little book, reflect how thou wouldst feel if thy
Editor were to bid thee write thy criticism in French.

MAX O'RELL.

_Contents._

PAGE

Preface,

Introduction,

I am Born.--I am Deeply in Love.--I wish to be an Artist, but my
Father uses strong Argument against it.--I produce a dramatic
Chef-d'oeuvre.--Parisian Managers fail to appreciate it.--I put
on a beautiful Uniform.--The Consequence of it.--Two Episodes of
the Franco-Prussian War.--The Commune explained by a Communist.--A
"glorious" Career cut short.--I take a Resolution and a Ticket for
London, 1

II.

EXTRACTS FROM THE DIARY OF A FRENCHMAN IN SEARCH OF A SOCIAL POSITION
IN ENGLAND.

Arrival at Charing Cross.--I have Nothing to declare to the Exciseman
but Low Spirits.--Difficulty in finding a comfortable Residence.--Board
and Lodging.--A House with Creepers.--Things look Bad.--Things look
Worse.--Things look cheerful, 15

III.

I make the acquaintance of Public School Boys.--"When I was a little
Boy."--An Awful Moment.--A Simple Theory.--I score a Success, 34

IV.

The _genus_ Boy.--The only one I object to.--What Boys work for, 38

V.

Schoolboys I have met.--Promising Britons.--Sly Boots.--Too Good for
this World.--"No, thanks, we makes it."--French Dictionaries.--A
Naughty Boy.--Mothers' Pets.--Dirty, but Beautiful.--John Bully.--High
Collars and Brains.--Dictation and its Trials.--Not to be taken in.--
Unlucky Boys.--The Use of Two Ears.--A Boy with One Idea.--Master
Whirligig.--The Influence of Athletics.--A Good Situation.--A Shrewd
Boy of Business.--Master Algernon Cadwaladr Smyth and other Typical
Schoolboys, 40

VI.

French as she is Traduced.--More Grumblings.--"La Critique" is not the
Critic's Wife.--Bossuet's Prose, and how it reads in English.--Nothing
improves by Translation except a Bishop.--A Few French "Howlers."--
Valuable Hints on translating Unseen Passages, 72

VII.

English Boys on French Etymologies.--Why "Silence" is the only French
Noun ending in "ence" that is of the Masculine Gender.--A Valuable
Service