don't you think you make the candidates waste a good deal of
their valuable time, and that it would be better to ask them the
question (if you must ask it) in a straightforward manner?"

He thought I was right, and for two years more the question was asked
again, but in the following improved manner:

"Explain why _silence_ is the only French noun, ending in _ence_, that
is of the masculine gender."

This was sensible, and I hoped the examiner would for a long time to
come be in smooth water.

The gods willed it otherwise.

One morning he came to me in a great state of excitement.

"I am furious!" he said. "I believe one of the candidates has been
laughing at me."

"You don't say so!" I remarked.

"I believe so," he continued, whilst untying a bundle of papers. "Now
look at this," he cried, handing me a copy; "have you ever seen such
impudence?"

I looked, but could make nothing out of it.

"What's the matter?" I inquired.

"Well, I asked the candidates the question about the gender of
_silence_."

"I know, the famous question, eh?"

"Never mind that. See the answer one of them gives me," and he pointed
it out to me. It ran thus:

"_Silence_ is the only French noun, ending in _ence_, that is
masculine, because it is the only thing women can not keep."

Tears of sympathy for the boy trickled down my cheeks; I thought it was
lovely.

"Well," I said, when I had recovered, "it serves you right."

"I will _plough_ that boy!" he ejaculated.

"No, you won't do that," I said. "How did he do the rest of the paper?"

"Very well, indeed; the impudent scamp is a clever fellow."

"And a wit," I added; "you must not _plough_ him."

I never knew the fate of that boy, although I believe I saved him.

But what I do know is that never, never since, has the question found
place in the Matriculation papers of the University of London.

* * * * *

A boy, having to give the etymology of the French word _dimanche_, and
explain why "book" and "pound" are expressed by the same French word
_livre_, perpetrated the following:

"_Dimanche_ is a compound word, formed from _di_ (twice), and _manche_
(to eat), because you take two meals on that day (Sunday)."[8]

[8] _Dear boy! he probably was a weekly boarder, and the Sunday
fare at home had left sweet recollections in his mind. This beats
Swift's etymology of "cucumber," which he once gave at a dinner