re is a real antique; this is the head of that famous demirep of
antiquity, called Cleopatra, {47}This is the way the ladies of antiquity
used to dress their heads in a morning. [_Gives the head off._] And this
is the way the ladies at present dress their heads in a morning. [_Takes
the head._] A lady in this dress seems hooded like a hawk, with a
blister on each cheek for the tooth-ach. One would imagine this fashion
had been invented by some surly duenna, or ill-natured guardian, on
purpose to prevent ladies turning to one side or the other; and that may
be the reason why now every young lady chooses to look forward. As the
world is round, every thing turns round along with it; no wonder there
should be such revolutions in ladies' head-dresses. This was in fashion
two or three years past; this is the fashion of last year [_takes a head
up_]; and this the morning headdress [_takes the head_] of this present
_anno domini_. These are the winkers, and these are the blinkers.
But, as the foibles of the ladies ought to be treated with the utmost
delicacy, all we can say of these three heads, thus hoodwinked, is, that
they are emblems of the three graces, who, thus muffled, have a mind to
play at blindman's buff together. [_Gives the heads off._]

{48}We shall now exhibit the head of An Old Maid. [_Takes the head._]
This is called antiquated virginity; it is a period when elderly
unmarried ladies are supposed to be bearing apes about in
leading-strings, as a punishment, because, when those elderly unmarried
ladies were young and beautiful, they made monkies of mankind. Old maids
are supposed to be ill-natured and crabbed, as wine kept too long on the
lees will turn to vinegar.

{49}Not to be partial to either sex [_takes the head up_], as a
companion to the Old Maid, here is the head of An Old Bachelor. These
old bachelors are mere bullies; they are perpetually abusing matrimony,
without ever daring to accept of the challenge. When they are in company
they are ever exclaiming against hen-pecked husbands, saying, if they
were married, their wives should never go any where without asking their
lords and masters' leave; and if they were married, the children should
never cry, nor the servants commit a fault: they'd set the house to
rights; they would do every thing. But the lion-like talkers abroad
are mere baa-lambs at home, being generally dupes and slaves to some
termagant mistress, against whose imperiousness they dare not