daring, namely, to standardize the types that may
be sold.

An old spelling-book used to tell us that "It is agreeable to watch the
unparalleled embarrassment of a harassed pedlar when gauging the symmetry
of a peeled pear." Lord DEVONPORT, occupied in deciding on the exact
architecture and decoration of the Bath bun (official sealed pattern),
would make a companion picture.

The unwillingness of some young Scottish Members to volunteer for National
Service is now explained. It seems that by an unpardonable oversight the
appeals of the DIRECTOR-GENERAL, as published in the Scottish newspapers,
were addressed "to the men of England." The wording has now been altered--
not too late, I trust, for the country to obtain the valuable assistance of
Messrs. PRINGLE and HOGGE.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _The New-comer._ "MY VILLAGE, I THINK?"

_The One in Possession._ "BOBBY, OLD THING; I TOOK IT HALF-AN-HOUR AGO."]

* * * * *

THE FOOD-SHORTAGE.

"Wanted, Second-hand Cavity Pan, with agitators complete, for edible
purposes."--_Manchester Guardian_.

* * * * *

"No potatoes are to be served in future at any meal at the Portland
Club, St. James's Square."--_Westminster Gazette_.

Hence the new name for this club--the Devonportland.

* * * * *

"We shall have to work more harder."--_Daily Paper_.

And some of us will have to write more better English.

* * * * *

HERBS OF GRACE.

v.

LAVENDER.

Grey walls that lichen stains,
That take the sun and the rains,
Old, stately and wise;
Clipt yews, old lawns flag-bordered,
In ancient ways yet ordered;
South walks where the loud bee plies
Daylong till Summer flies;--
_Here grows Lavender, here breathes England_.

Gay cottage gardens, glad,
Comely, unkempt and mad,
Jumbled, jolly and quaint;
Nooks where some old man dozes;
Currants and beans and roses
Mingling without restraint;
A wicket that long lacks paint;--
_Here grows Lavender, here breathes England_.

Sprawling for elbow-room,
Spearing straight spikes of bloom,
Clean, wayward and tough;
Sweet and tall and slender,
True, enduring and tender,
Buoyant and bold and bluff,
Simplest, sanest of stuff;--
_Thus grows Lavender,