ndividually possessed, by fighting for a lady who
was so utterly blind to their manifold merits.

Thus ended the feud of THE RIVAL CANDIDATES.

* * * * *

SIR FRANCIS BURDETT'S VISIT TO THE TOWER.

On the news of the fire in the Tower of London being told to Sir Francis
Burdett, he hurried to the scene of the conflagration, which must have
suggested some unpleasing reminiscences of his lost popularity and faded
glory. Some thirty years ago, those very walls received him like a second
Hampden, the undaunted defender of his country's rights;--on last Monday
he entered them a broken-down unhonoured parasite. Gazing on the black and
smouldering ruins before him--he perhaps compared them to his own
patriotism, for he was heard to matter audibly--

[Illustration: CAN IT BE THAT THIS IS ALL REMAINS OF THEE?]

* * * * *

REFORM YOUR LAWYERS' BILLS.

It is a well-known and established fact, that nothing so far conduces to
the domestic happiness of all circles as the golden system of living
within one's income. Luxuries cease to be so if after-reflection produces
vexatious results; comfort flies before an exorbitant and unprepared-for
demand; and the debtor dunned by the merciless creditor sinks into
something worse than a cipher, as nothingness is denied him, and the _one_
standing before him but aggravates, and multiplies his painful annoyances.
The great secret of satisfactory existence derives its origin from
well-calculated and moderate expenditure. Ten thousand a year renders
pines cheap at 1l. 11s. 6d. per pound; ten hundred is better exemplified
by Ribston pippins!

So in all grades are there various matters of taste which become
extravagance if rushed into by persons unbreeched for the occasion.
Luckily for the present day, the tastes of the gourmand and epicure are
merged in more manly sports; the great class of Corinthian aristocrats
cull sweets from the blackened eyes of policemen--raptures from
wrenched-off knockers--merriment in contusions--and frantic delight in
fractured limbs! These innocent amusements have in their prosecution
plunged many of their thoughtless and high-spirited devotees into
pecuniary difficulties, simply from their ignorance of the costs attendant
upon such exciting, fashionable, and therefore highly proper amusements.

Ever anxious to ameliorate the suffering and persecuted of ail classes,
Messrs. Quibble and Quirk, a