be
----!"

"Now, Mr. Manhug, I really must entreat of you to be more steady,"
interrupts the professor. "You would scrape the ceiling with the
fire-shovel, would you not? Plaster contains lime, and lime is an
antidote. Recollect that, if you please. They like you to say you would
scrape the ceiling, at the Hall: they think it shows a ready invention in
emergency. Mr. Newcome, you have heard the last question and answer?"

"Yes sir," says the fresh arrival, as he finishes making a note of it.

"Well; you are sent for, to a man who has hung himself. What would be your
first endeavour?"

"To scrape the ceiling with the fire-shovel," mildly observes Mr. Newcome;
whereupon the class indulges in a hearty laugh, and Mr. Newcome blushes as
deep as the red bull's-eye of a New-road doctor's lamp.

"What would _you_ do, Mr. Manhug? perhaps you can inform Mr. Newcome."

"Cut him down, sir," answers the indomitable _farceur_.

"Well, well," continues the teacher; "but we will presume he has been cut
down. What would you strive to do next?"

"Cut him up, sir, if the coroner would give an order for a _post mortem_
examination."

"We have had no chemistry this morning," observes one of the pupils.

"Very well, Mr. Rogers; we will go on with it if you wish. How would you
endeavour to detect the presence of gold in any body?"

"By begging the loan of a sovereign, sir," interrupts Mr. Manhug.

"If he knew you as well as I do, Manhug," observes Mr. Jones, "he'd be
sure to lend it--oh, yes!--I should rayther think so, certainly,"
whereupon Mr. Jones compresses his nostril with the thumb of his right
hand, and moves his fingers as if he was performing a concerto on an
imaginary one handed flageolet.

"Mr. Rapp, what is the difference between an element and a compound body?"

Mr. Rapp is again obliged to confess his ignorance.

"A compound body is composed of two or more elements," says the grinder,
"in various proportions. Give me an example, Mr. Jones."

"Half-and-half is a compound body, composed of the two elements, ale and
porter, the proportion of the porter increasing in an inverse ratio to the
respectability of the public-house you get it from," replies Mr. Jones.

The professor smiles, and taking up a Pharmacopoeia, says, "I see here
directions for evaporating certain liquids 'in a water-bath.' Mr. Newcome,
what is the most familiar instance of a water-bath you are acquainted
with?"

"In High Holborn, sir; betwee