s I am with a
sense--with a sense, I say, with a sense--" Here the hon. gentleman sat
down for want of a termination.

Song--"No more shall the children of Judah sing."

Mr. PETER BORTHWICK (having corked himself a handsome pair of mustachios),
next rose, and said,--"Most potent, grave, and reverend signors, and Mr.
Chairman,--if it were done, when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done
quickly'--in rising to drink--'my custom always of an afternoon'--the
health of Sir Peter Laurie, and whom I can ask, in the language of the
immortal bard, 'where gottest thou that goose look,' I can only say, 'had
Heaven made me such another,' I would not"-- Then Peter Borthwick sat
down, evidently indisposed, exclaiming--"The drink, Hamlet, the drink!!!"

Here our reporter left the meeting, who were vociferously chanting, by way
of grace, previous to the attack on the "roast geese," the characteristic
anthem of the "King of the Cannibal Islands."

* * * * *

DYER IGNORANCE.

It has been rumoured that Mr. Bernal, the new member, has been for some
weeks past suffering from a severe attack of scarlet fever, caused by his
late unparliamentary conduct in addressing the assembled legislators
as--gentlemen. We are credibly informed that this unprecedented piece of
ignorance has had the effect, as Shakspere says, of

[Illustration: "MAKING THE GREEN ONE RED."--_Macbeth_.]

* * * * *

MAKING A COMPOSITION WITH ONE'S ANCESTORS.

Roebuck, the ex-attorney, and member for Bath, who has evinced a most
commendable love of his parents, from his great-grandfather upwards,
seeing the utter impossibility of carrying through the "whole hog"
conviction of their respectability, and finding himself in rather an
awkward "fix," on the present occasion begs to inform the editor of the
_Times_, that he will be most happy to accept a compromise, on their
literary and scientific attainments, at the very reasonable rate of

[Illustration: SIX-AND-EIGHTPENCE IN THE POUND.]

* * * * *

PUNCH'S HISTRIONIC READINGS IN HISTORY.

NO. 1.--ENGLAND.

Of the early history of England nothing is known. It was, however, invaded
by the _Normans_; but whether they were any relations of the once
celebrated _Norman_ the pantaloon, we have no authentic record. The
kingdom had at one time seven kings--two of whom were probably the two
well-known kings of Brentford. P