rectly, a negotiation, therefore, according
to the acceptation of experienced statesmen learned in these matters, is
no longer an attempt to accommodate differences, to ascertain rights, and
to establish an equitable exchange of kind offices; but a contest of skill
between two powers which shall overreach and take in the other it is a
cunning endeavor to obtain by peaceful manoeuvre and the chicanery of
cabinets those advantages which a nation would otherwise have wrested by
force of arms; in the same manner as a conscientious highwayman reforms
and becomes a quiet and praiseworthy citizen, contenting himself with
cheating his neighbor out of that property he would formerly have seized
with open violence.

In fact, the only time when two nations can be said to be in a state of
perfect amity is when a negotiation is open and a treaty pending. Then,
when there are no stipulations entered into, no bonds to restrain the
will, no specific limits to awaken the captious jealousy of right
implanted in our nature; when each party has some advantage to hope and
expect from the other; then it is that the two nations are wonderfully
gracious and friendly, their ministers professing the highest mutual
regard, exchanging _billets-doux_, making fine speeches, and indulging in
all those little diplomatic flirtations, coquetries, and fondlings, that
do so marvelously tickle the good humor of the respective nations. Thus it
may paradoxically be said, that there is never so good an understanding
between two nations as when there is a little misunderstanding--and that
so long as they are on terms at all they are on the best terms in the
world!

I do not by any means pretend to claim the merit of having made the above
discovery. It has, in fact, long been secretly acted upon by certain
enlightened cabinets, and is, together with divers other notable theories,
privately copied out of the commonplace book of an illustrious gentleman
who has been member of congress, and enjoyed the unlimited confidence of
heads of departments. To this principle may be ascribed the wonderful
ingenuity shown of late years in protracting and interrupting
negotiations. Hence the cunning measure of appointing as ambassador some
political pettifogger skilled in delays, sophisms, and misapprehensions,
and dexterous in the art of baffling argument; or some blundering
statesman, whose errors and misconstructions may be a plea for refusing to
ratify his engagements. An