ld at this present moment sit upon your fat and
florid carcass."

"Well, what then is wrong? I say, you haven't--it isn't a girl, is it?"

"Nothing so lucky for a bloomin' Colonial in this land of wealth and
culture. If I only dared!"

"There's something," insisted Linklater; "but I've no doubt it
will develop. Meantime let us go out, and, in your own picturesque
vocabulary, let us 'hit the flowing bowl.'"

"No, Sir!" cried Martin emphatically. "No more! I am on the water wagon,
and have been all summer."

"I knew it was something," replied Linklater gloomily, "but I didn't
think it was quite so bad as that. No wonder you've had a hard summer!"

"Best summer ever!" cried Martin. "I only wish I had started two years
ago when I came to this bibulous burgh."

"How came it? Religion?"

"No; just horse sense, and the old chief."

"Dunn!" exclaimed Linklater. "I always knew he was against that sort of
thing in training, but I didn't think he would carry it to this length."

"Yes, Dunn! I say, old boy, I've no doubt you think you know him, I
thought so, too, but I've learned some this summer. Here's a yarn, and
it is impressive. Dunn had planned an extensive walking tour in the
Highlands; you know he came out of his exams awfully fagged. Well, at
this particular moment it happened that Balfour Murray--you know the
chap that has been running that settlement joint in the Canongate for
the last two years--proposes to Dunn that he should spend a few weeks
in leading the young hopefuls in that interesting and uncleanly
neighbourhood into paths of virtue and higher citizenship by way of
soccer and kindred athletic stunts. Dunn in his innocence agrees,
whereupon Balfour Murray promptly develops a sharp attack of pneumonia,
necessitating rest and change of air, leaving the poor old chief in the
deadly breach. Of course, everybody knows what the chief would do in any
deadly breach affair. He gave up his Highland tour, shouldered the whole
Canongate business, organised the thing as never before, inveigled all
his friends into the same deadly breach, among the number your humble
servant, who at the time was fiercely endeavouring in the last lap of
the course to atone for a two years' loaf, organised a champion team
which has licked the spots off everything in sight, and in short, has
made the whole business a howling success; at the cost, however, of all
worldly delights, including his Highland tour and the International."