e little parcel. Receive
the thanks of my heart, and share, as giver, in the joy of him who has
received.

"Today, however, is a very serious day, the last day of spring and the
anniversary of that on which I lost my noble and good Dittmar. I am a
prey to a thousand different and confused feelings; but I have only two
passions left in me which remain upright and like two pillars of
brass support this whole chaos--the thought of God and the love of my
country."

During all this time Sand's life remains apparently calm and equal; the
inward storm is calmed; he rejoices in his application to work and his
cheerful temper. However, from time to time, he makes great complaints
to himself of his propensity to love dainty food, which he does not
always find it possible to conquer. Then, in his self-contempt, he calls
himself "fig-stomach" or "cake-stomach." But amid all this the religious
and political exaltation and visits all the battlefields near to the
road that he follows. On the 18th of October he is back at Jena, where
he resumes his studies with more application than ever. It is among
such university studies that the year 1818 closes far him, and we should
hardly suspect the terrible resolution which he has taken, were it not
that we find in his journal this last note, dated the 31st of December:

"I finish the last day of this year 1818, then, in a serious and solemn
mood, and I have decided that the Christmas feast which has just gone by
will be the last Christmas feast that I shall celebrate. If anything is
to come of our efforts, if the cause of humanity is to assume the upper
hand in our country, if in this faithless epoch any noble feelings can
spring up afresh and make way, it can only happen if the wretch, the
traitor, the seducer of youth, the infamous Kotzebue, falls! I am fully
convinced of this, and until I have accomplished the work upon which I
have resolved, I shall have no rest. Lord, Thou who knowest that I have
devoted my life to this great action, I only need, now that it is fixed
in my mind, to beg of Thee true firmness and courage of soul."

Here Sand's diary ends; he had begun it to strengthen himself; he
had reached his aim; he needed nothing more. From this moment he was
occupied by nothing but this single idea, and he continued slowly to
mature the plan in his head in order to familiarise himself with its
execution; but all the impressions arising from this thought remained in
his own mind,